IELTS writing task 1: coal mining site and its renewed version as an entertainment destination

coal mine redevelopment

Topic: The maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitor attraction site.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My writing (160 words):

The maps illustrate a coal mining site and its renewed version as an entertainment destination.

Overall, the site was completely reformed and upgraded to fit its new use. Except for the car park which remained the same, all amenities changed, and there were two new constructions which were a walking track and a children playground.

One apparent change was the use of most buildings. For example, while two rooms for staff at the northwest corner merged and turned into a museum, the medical center was reconstructed into a cafe. On the opposite side of the cafe and the museum, two past waste sites transformed into a pond and a driving circuit.

The other striking changes were the newly constructed walking track and a children's playground. The walking track started from the middle of the attraction landmark, right in front of the entrance, and led to the northeast side of the site. The children's playground was situated at the southeast corner.

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The trending statement was good up to the point where a run-on sentence was created. The data in this section should, for clarity purposes, be divided into 3 seperate sentences to represent the 3 different discoveries from the images.

The descriptive analysis is focused on the changes alone.The writer forgot that a comparison of the images based on the original and revised maps are required. This was to be a 3 paragraph essay with the 2nd paragraph detailing the original set - up. That presentation should then be connected to the highlighted redesign and changes after the renovations in the 3rd paragraph.

The discussion meets half the requirements for the report. A balanced look at both images in relation to design variations would have offered a better scoring consideration.