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COMMUNICATION ONLINE - people are now able to keep in contact with others by using their gadgets



vinau 2 / 2  
Oct 27, 2016   #1
Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate.

What are the advantages of International communication online?
Are there any disadvantages to this?


In this modern era, the advancement of technology was more widespread and people now able to keep in contact with other people by using their gadget. In my opinion, the benefits from this simplicity are greater than the drawbacks we receive.

There are several reasons why communication online very widely used for some people in this era. Firstly, this facility can be used for people to stay in touch with others, eventhough they are in different countries. For example, students who study abroad and far away from their hometown can use this facility to keep contact with their family and friends. Secondly, it is very helpful for busy people who can't have more time to meet other people in person. There is no doubt that by using modern technology we can stay to make a contact with other people who live far away from us.

On the other hand, communication online also have a bad impact for human social relations. They may think that meet other people in a person is not important and they will ignore their social life. To illustriate, some people think that it is not necessary to hangout or having quality time with their family or friends. They prefer to sit at home and waste their time to make a conversation with people they will never see and ignore on establishing relationships in real life.

In conclusion, therefore, I believe that the benefits of communication online outweigh the drawbacks because international communications online made people closer and easy to interact. However, this facility completely drawning human into the virtual world and makes them forget to build a good socialization with others.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Oct 27, 2016   #2
Hi Goldvina, this essay would probably merit a 5 if you have it graded by your instructor. While the common grammatical errors are evident in your work, these errors do not interfere with the development of your idea presentation. While you need to further develop your presentation skills and improve the grammar for a smoother presentation, you were able to prove a number of things to the examiner.

The first is that you understood the prompt clearly. Therefore, you have acceptable comprehension skills. You also have enough knowledge of basic English grammar skills that can assist you in developing simple, though flawed discussion sentences. So the paragraphs come across as understandable. These positive marks are what moved your essay towards a passing score.

Problems in your essay lie in the way that you were not really able to present a strong enough introduction and conclusion. Keep in mind that the introduction must properly summarize the prompt and offer your opinion on the matter. You must also present an overview of your pro and con discussion. The introduction failed to do this.

As for your conclusion, refrain from starting a new discussion in a conclusion. As the term suggests, a conclusion is meant to close the essay. Therefore, there is no need to present new information in this section. You just need to close the discussion by restating the important elements of the essay.
hirani03 36 / 46  
Oct 27, 2016   #3
The questions:
What are the advantages of International communication online?
Are there any disadvantages to this?

compares to your explanation:
In my opinion, the benefits from this simplicity are greater than the drawbacks we receive.

It did not have correlation between your answer and the question. There are double questions while your answer did not accurate to the question. I seems like your explanation in the first paragraph suitable with this prompt.'Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages'

This is also happen in your conclusion. It means you have to understand the question before you start writing the essay.

Your explanation in the body paragraph 1 and 2 is already correct.

Keep writing and good luck.


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