Modern forms of communication
Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friend. This has had a negative effect on their social lives.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is true that modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have transformed people's time to contact with their friends instead of seeing them. It is not certain that it has had negative effect on their social lives.
Nowsaday, people have always worked to be worry about their life. It is clearly that they have not had leisure time seeing their friends, as a result modern forms of communication such as wechat, messaging have been the best choice. It confirms that people have not talked to familiar when they have been far away, nevertheless, they have seen each other by video chatting. I'm additionally, as far as work is concerned, it is easy to exchange information throughout email intimately. That means this has saved moving time and has been more safety.
On the other hand, the way people spend many time chatting by modern forms of communication, so they do not meet their friends more, therefore, their relation will not be the same in the past. Moreover, there are a lot of stories which share through messaging and this affected the feeling.
However, it takes the amount of time to move and see friends, while they do a lot of things during the time. It has benefits that they save time and money for meetings. What is more, modern forms of communication are allowed people are each other by camera.
To draw the conclusion, one can say that social lives is better now. It is difficult to argued that modern forms of communication have reduced many the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. We need to take a reasonable the leisure hours.
HI there, I have some opinions about your essay, I hop it helps.
I will first indicate your grammar issues, and second, state my idea toward the coherent and cohesive in your writing.
- You may consider checking spelling and punctuation once you've done the essay. For example:
Nowadays => I believe that this is wrong typing.
As a result, modern forms of..... ; ...far away. Nevetherless,
- Other grammar mistakes such as:
be worry or to be worry = > "Be" and "worry" are two independent Verbs, and they can define the meaning in the sentence by themselves.
...much/any time or many times
The first sentence of your concluding paragraph is an incomplete sentence, that is a comparison sentence, and it is inappropriate in academic writing.
to familiar to => the word familiar is an adj or N but doesn't have a verb form,
and there are some other issues that you might want to have a look later.
2/ Coherent and cohesive:
I think the paragraphs in your don't support each other quite well. Your topic sentence in the second paragraph is so confusing. I mark a question that why do people work to worry? The every each sentence following your the topic has been conducting different meanings and ideas: leisure time, far distance, save time, etc. which make me confused.
Lay, I am not sure if you did not understand the prompt requirement or you just chose to ignore the instructions for the discussion. Your essay has already failed, regardless of your grammar problems because you showed a lack of English comprehension skills. YOu did not discuss the essay in the manner required by the discussion instructions. Following the instructions comprises more than half your test score. Failure to do so will result in a failure of the exam. Why did you fail?
Original Question for Discussion: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Discussion Response: It is not certain that it has had negative effect on their social lives.
Why are you discussing a negative effect essay when the instruction is to have you discuss an extent essay based on an agreement or disagreement with the given topic? The negative effect discussion in the prompt represents the topic and reason for the discussion. It is not the discussion instruction. There are 2 things that are going to be clear to the examiner when it comes to your essay:
1. You do not understand the instructions of the essay.
2. You created your own topic for discussion.
By creating a prompt deviation, you discussed the essay in a manner that does not suit the prompt requirements. You have to become more familiar with the way that Task 2 essay instructions are discussed. That way you avoid making mistakes such as a non-response to the prompt requirement and also, creating prompt deviations.
There are many grammatical errors and wrong word choices .
I'd suggest you to strengthen your language first before trying to write IELTS essays.
Start with reading as much newspapers as possible and study sentences and structures not single words.