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There is no community spirit in high rise apartment blocks? Task 2


Linda91 30 / 40 3  
Feb 2, 2016   #1
People live in a building and around society. One group of people think that living in high-rise flats block is an unhappy experience because there is no community spirit, but the other groups believe that it has something better in the way of feeling of society than living in houses. Whilst I believe that living in flats is a lonely experience, I firmly believe that it has the sense of social group and has great experience.

Social interaction is a substantial factor in psychological state of someone that determines what people feel such as lonely or happy. This is a problem for people who live in flats as usually they rarely do not know and meet their neighbor, so that there is no interaction in apartment. For example, most of people who live in flats are always spend their time in work place from morning to afternoon. Usually they go back in the night to sleep, so that it causes the lack of interaction among people in apartment. There is no wonder that many people in flats experience the lonely and dull life.

However, there are any rooms in apartment that can encourage people to make interaction, so they have good sense of society spirit, such as cafeteria in rooftop and public space in each floor. They can meet their relative, neighbor, or colleague in that place. For instance, remaining time to enjoy spare time in a day with neighbor in cafeteria is one of activity that some people do in flats. As a result, they have good relationship with other people in flat. As it can be seen from example, happy life can be obtained in flats.

In addition, the room arrangement of flats usually brings people in lobby and corridor that stimulate them to communicate with other residents. For instance, an apartment in Yogyakarta, Mataram city is one of flats that use one-corridor system in space planning apartment. As a consequent, residents frequently communicate with other occupants in that public space. There is no doubt that better sense of society can be reached with living in flats.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although living in apartment can cause a lonely life, but it enhances sense of community. Hence, do not worried to stay in flats because it can also increase sense of social group.

Hiddengrace 6 / 119 68  
Feb 2, 2016   #2
I just want to make a quick comment on this essay. After reading, I'm sort of confused on which position you argue in this essay. It may be typos, but it seems like you are trying to agree with both sides of the argument, which I'm not sure is the best way to go about it. Your first paragraph argues that living in apartments is lonely, but your second two paragraphs support the facts that it is a social environment. You're contradicting yourself throughout the entire thing.

Personally, I think it would be best to pick one side and only argue that side instead of arguing both. It doesn't seem like a strong essay when you are arguing for both sides in such a small essay- i.e. you're not really developing both arguments properly. If you only argued for one side, you'd be able to create a stronger, more detailed essay.

Whilst I believe that living in flats is a lonely experience, I firmly believe that it has the sense of social group and has great experience.

For example, here you are saying you do believe it is a lonely experience and you also believe that it has "the sense of social group".

The aforementioned evidence shows that although living in apartment can cause a lonely life, but it enhances sense of community. Hence, do not worried to stay in flats because it can also increase sense of social group.

Also, here you are saying that apartment living is lonely, but that it (what is the it? being lonely? or apartment life?) creates socialization.


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