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IELTS 1: Computer ownership among educated people


Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
Apr 30, 2014   #1
The graphs show information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

In general, it can be seen from the graph that percentage from computer ownership and level of education which have different every years.

The first graph, in 2002, computer ownership was approximately 55 percent, and increased slightly almost 60 percent in 2004. From 2006, it began to increase steadily just above 65 percent, despite a slight rise in 2008 approximately 67 percent, and climbed ever higher to almost 70 percent in 2010. With the result, computer ownership from year 2002 until 2010 has undergone increasing step by step every year.

The second graph, education level is consisting of several levels by computer ownership from 2010 until 2010. For example, no high school diploma has approximately 18%, it began to increase slightly almost 38% in around high school graduate, continued to rise steadily in college among 52%. Afterwards, it climbed even higher to almost 68 % in bachelor's degree, and rose sharply in postgraduate qualification approximately 72 %. However, in 2010, computer ownership by education level was different in 2002 which was computer ownership higher than in 2002.

To sum up, it can be concluded that computer ownership in years 2010 had percent higher than in year 2002 until 2008. Then, computer ownership by level education had different percent between level which was higher postgraduate qualification in 2002 and 2010 than other levels, and no high school diploma was fewest than others.




Kelly219 2 / 4 1  
Apr 30, 2014   #2
you should rewrite the introduction because your introduction use the words in the question.
The graphs show information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
the model introduction from Thang Trinh "the graphs show information about the proportion of people using computers in the whole population, and in categories of educational level over a 8-year period"

In general, it can be seen from the graph that percentage from computer ownership and level of education which have different every years.
i guess this sentence is an overall sentence, but I do not see the trend.
and "different" is adj, you must use a noun here: difference
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 30, 2014   #3
In general, it can be seen from the graph that percentage from computer ownership and level of education which have different every years.

This is a very confusing statement. In the overview, you need to give an overall idea to the reader about the main trends of what graphs present. This is what I suggest for this task;

Overall, the computer ownership has recorded a steady increase from 2002 to 2010. Further, the level of education too has a direct correlation with the ownership of computers such that higher the level of education, higher the percentage ownership of computers in both 2002 and 2010.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Apr 30, 2014   #4
In general, it can be seen from the graph thatthe percentage of computer ownership and level of education which have differentdifference every years.

The first graph, in 2002, computer ownership was approximately 55 percent, and increased slightly to almost 60 percent in 2004

With the result, computer ownership from year 2002 until to 2010 has undergone increasing step by step every year.

For example, no high school diploma has approximately 18%,

what does it mean?

To sum up, it can be concluded that computer ownership in years 2010 had percent higher higher percentage than in year 2002 until 2008

also, in the beginning of your 3rd and 4th paragraph, it will be better if you write according to the first/second graph,
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
May 13, 2014   #5
Double graphs
Introduction: Write one sentence, but introduce each chart separately e.g "This first bart chart shows..., and the second chart illustrates

Short body:
Write 2 sentences. If the information in the charts is not connected, find one main point or general trend for each chart. If the charts are connected, try to make comparisons

Main body paragraphs: If the two charts are completely different (e.g. a graph and a table), write a separate paragraph about each.
If the charts are the same, and show the same information (e.g. 2 pie charts), do not describe them separately, the examiner will want to see comparisons.

In this case, you could write one paragraph describing all of the information, but it is still more preferable to write two paragraphs because it makes the essay look more organized


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