Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Computers enable people to be able to work at home and children to study at home.


jjgenius 2 / 3  
Jul 15, 2022   #1
Computers enable people to be able to work at home and children to study at home.
Some people believe that it is convenient and cost-saving.

Do you think the phenomenon is positive or negative?



Computers play an integral part in contemporary existence. Undeniably, these high-quality gadgets significantly contribute to the convenience of working and studying at home. While there are several benefits gained from computers, I firmly believe that dependence on them too much leads to some problems.

On the one hand, humans can reap a variety of positive effects from computers. Firstly, there is no need for people to go to the office and children to flock to school in scorching hot weather, especially in the Covid-19 pandemic. Therefore, sitting in front of the glossy green at home, officers stand various chances of working and relaxing in their own ways conveniently. Additionally, computers consist of a slew of resources for students to self-study at home, apart from teachers' lessons. For instance, by containing several online-sharing English videos, Youtube can benefit children to advance their English skills and expand their vocabulary. Accordingly, it is cost-saving for them not to take any extra curriculum.

On the other hand, there are some detrimental effects obtained from computers. Specifically, always paying attention to the screen can result in a sedentary life, which causes some health problems and diseases such as shortsightedness, obesity, and headache. More remarkably, if people depend on the computer too much, they can probably lack social skills, namely communication, teamwork, and problem-solving. Furthermore, children may abuse computers by playing games instead of learning without their parents' observation. As a result, they can lack concentration on studying, which would decrease their quality of learning.

In conclusion, while making a beneficial contribution to the comfort of working and studying at home for people and children, computers also negatively influence well-being issues and attention.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,582 4452  
Jul 15, 2022   #2
Do not begin the opinion discussion in the first paragraph. While the writer believes he merely restated the prompt, the use of confirmatory words in the paragraph altered that approach, creating a series of opinion discussion points instead. That is not the purpose of this paragraph.

The task response is also incorrect since it does not respond to the question in the expected format. A review of the concluding paragraph shows it would have been more appropriately used as the opinion response in the first paragraph. Right now, the first paragraph will not provide a scoring boost.

The discussion paragraphs do not provide the necessary proof points that could support the writer's opinion, had he provided a correct point of view. It is clear that the writer did not understand the question which is why he could not provide a proper reasoning response explanation. This is a failing essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / Computers enable people to be able to work at home and children to study at home.