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In countries that have already achieved influence, any additional wealth wouldn't add happiness


OsuG 1 / -  
Jun 30, 2023   #1

the impact of additional wealth on the happiness of people



There has been a topic of debate as to whether the extra property would not bring more happiness to people in nations that are already influential. This essay will elaborate on several reasons why I totally disagree that kind of further wealth is no longer necessary.

Firstly, one of the main benefits of additional wealth in influential countries is that it can improve the quality of life. With more wealth, people now can access to the higher healthcare and infrastructure. For example, the extra assets can lead to the construction of the better hospital, the hiring of more skilled doctor, and possessing advanced treatment that are extremely useful in improving basic conditions to the residents because this improved quality of life directly impacts people's happiness by ensuring better health and well-being, increased life expectancy.

Secondly, additional wealth in influential countries can create more opportunities for personal development. With greater financial resources, individuals can purse a better educational environment without worrying about financial constrains, they can accquiring new skills, valuable knowledge, as well as enjoy the life which usually lead to the better performance of an individual in the study. Access to quality education, can create more chances in career prospects, and increased job satisfaction. For instance, many of those who already graduated from top schools in the world now have a dream job more than others from less well-known schools. It can also significantly plays a crucial role in contributing to an individual's happiness and overall living standard satisfaction these days.

In conclusion, it is essential to recognize the positive impact that additional wealth can have on the happiness of people in influential countries. I strongly believe that additional wealth absolutely could make people more joys in their life due to the benefits of improving the level of quality alongside with creating more job opportunities to one particular person.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,844 4786  
Jul 7, 2023   #2
The writer has an error in his prompt restatement. Aflluence pertains to wealth, not just extra property. So the rewording is incorrect and will receive a failing score. The writer's opinion is also exaggerated and does not follow the expected response format for the essay. This is a simple agree or disagree presentation but the opinion presented used the measured response version. The first paragraph will get a failing TA score since the presentation requirements were not properly met.

Reasoning paragraphs are on point in its support of a single opinion presentation. That is good. What is not good is that the writer does not do a very good job of clearly explaining himself. His use of the English language shows he needs to better understand the meaning of the words he is using to write his essay.

As for the concluding statement, it makes the same mistake as the opening presentation and will therefore, result in score reductions as well. The incorrect opinion presentation heavily contributed to the non passing score.


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