[IELTS Writing task 2] Countries are becoming more and more similar

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

Many people have argued that countries are becoming more and more similar as people can buy the same products anywhere in the world. While this seems like a positive development, I think that there are significant disadvantages from it.

Firstly, the ability to buy similar commodities anywhere serves as favourable signals of economic growth, transportation sector advancement, trading route increasing, key indicators of world development. Secondly, there is another advantage of this capability relating to living standards, since being able to purchase products everywhere meets the requirements of every consumers even the most grumpy ones. Moreover, this means that people can buy foreign manufactures without wasting time travelling further as well as worrying about origins.

However, there are certain negative effects from this development. When purchasing foreign commodities, consumers as well as companies have to pay higher due to tax, freight cost and service fee. This will result in smuggling and selling counterfeit goods in order to increase profits. Furthermore, during transforming process, products can be crashed or broken down, which makes the quality declined. These problems are considered to have direct impact on customers' psychology as well as companies' income. Besides, being able to buy everything anywhere results in people's thoughts that countries are becoming the same. This is not a positive idea since each countries has its own attractions as well as conditions, and all of them make the world around us more enticing as well as diversified.

In conclusion, although being capable of buying similar products anywhere in the world has several advantages, there are various troubles arising from this. Governments and citizens had better come up with suitable regulations as well as applications in order to make this development more productive. (285)

Thanks for your feedbacks!

Your prompt restatement is a failure because you used a cut and paste of a section of the original presentation in your rephrasing. You need to totally eliminate any words and references from the original. Develop a totally original word presentation of the idea or topic presentation. Your current presentation will get a failing mark for the restatement section. As far as your opinion is concerned, it was presented properly. You responded to the question provided. The answer would have been stronger with a summarized discussion topic listing though.

In the actual discussion, you need not have presented the positive side since this is a single opinion essay. Both reasoning paragraphs should have been presented only within the opinion you proposed. Sections that do not relate directly to your opinion would not be considered. That will mean not meeting the word count and getting an almost automatic failing score for your discussion. Focus only on developing your opinion presentation next time.

I think your ideas are a little seperated. Instead of listing different reasons, try to elaborate on only one or two main reasons each paragraph, give it a full explanation and example if possible - the more detailed, the better it is. Don't be too dependent on cohesive devices, it may make your essay seem to be incoherent than you thought. Also, you may well include your theses in the conclusion to sum up your main ideas, for example: "In conclusion, although being capable of buying similar products anywhere in the world has several advantages, there are various troubles arising from this including counterfeit practices and product breakage during delivery.

Hope this will help.