In some countries, it is important to have a private house rather than renting one

This is the first time I write it. Please give me some comment. I'm waiting for it.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, it is important to have a private house rather than hiring one. In my oppinion, I partly agree with this idea.
Generally, people always want to possess a home. They constanly have in their mind that latch on home which means significantly: you are financially independent, grow up. Morever, if you own a home is abandon. You can do what you want. You freedomly paint your wall with your favourite colour. Celabrate everything flow your imagination. Other way, when you rent a apartmen, you will have to obey the rule. Some rules make you uncomfortable. You can't sing loud or maybe you can't have pets. Doing everything without host's permission, it's so great!

Another perspective, renting a home which is not waste much expense as you pay for bying a home or building it. But you also have from pretty house onwards big house. In addition, you never worry about any phenomeno destroy your dear house such as natural disaster. Beside, renting a home is flexibility when you work in many places. You are not anxious about market crashing.

To conclusion, Having own house is important for some countries. In my view, i prefer owning a home because when in my home I am I and I don't have to endure something I don't like.

The first thing the examiner will check upon receiving your essay is the word count. The minute that he sees that you wrote less than the minimum 250 word count, as you only wrote 218 words, he will apply an immediate penalty to your work. The penalty, or percentage deduction, will be based on the number of missing words that would have completed the minimum count. What does this mean for your essay? It means that you will be starting off your essay with a non-passing score. After that error is noted, and computed, your TA score will then be considered as the first score required for your actual scoring requirements.

Now, the TA score for this essay will not be in the passing range either. That is because you changed the discussion requirement from an opinion based essay to an extent essay. How did you create this accidental error? Note the error in your response to the discussion questions as provided in the original prompt.

OQ: Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

You did not provide the expected response to these questions in your thesis presentation. Your response was:

YR: In my oppinion, I partly agree with this idea.

Your conclusion also adds to the prompt deviation as you indicated an additional improper response to the overall discussion requirement:

Conclusion: i prefer owning a home...

As you can see, you did not align your response with the questions provided, thus creating a prompt deviation on your part. You no longer provided a response to the provided questions. Hence, your score will be based on your inability to respond to any part of the task. Since you have 2 failing score considerations immediately upon starting the test, you will not be able to achieve a passing score with your presentation. Overall, you failed to meet the discussion requirements and format for this topic. Nothing can be done to help you achieve a passing score in this case.

@Holt
Thank u so much.I change my thread that remove "I partly agree with this idea." and insert "this is a positive situation." My conclusion : "To conclusion, Having own house is important for some countries. That absolutely positive situation. In my view, i prefer owning a home because when in my home I am I and I don't have to endure something I don't like.". Is that ok ? And I try to redo my thread aproach to 250 words.

In conditional sentence, you should use , instead of ...home is abandon, you can do whatever you want.
Also when you want to list the activities, you use , or linking words: You can freedomly paint ... colour,/or celebrate everything ...

@hglingg
Thanks for your kind words !