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In most countries multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important.


TriceLiu 11 / 25 17  
Jul 24, 2018   #1
Question: In most countries multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life. Do you agree or disagree?

are multinational companies a threat to us?



Essay: Multinational companies and their products have become an integral part of people's lives . Never before have multinational companies played such a pivotal role in society. Today, both manufacturing and distribution have gone global, increasing the quantity and variety of goods while driving down the price. Despite their potential threat to local environment, they improve life rather than destroying it.

Multinational companies may jeopardize environment in developing countries by setting up factories there. First, the need for raw material would drive companies to use up natural resources in developing countries where legislation and law enforcement for environmental protection are often scarcely upheld. Second, these manufacture factories are highly pollutive. Dirty water, carbon emission, and polluted air from these manufacturing sites could harm the health of residents.

Yet the arrival of multinational companies can boom the local economy. It provides plentiful job opportunities to locals who are desperate to earn a living. Factories built overseas are usually labor-intensive, thus could hire a large local workforce. Wages from multinational companies would enhance local purchase force, contributing to a dynamic economy. Employed by such companies, parents could also provide better schooling for their children, which could pull deprived families out of the poverty cycle.Customers could benefit from multinational companies. First, these companies provide alternatives to local products. KFC, a global food chain, for example, serves western fast food which local restaurants in Asia do not provide . Second, products from multinationals could be more cost-effective, as they are manufactured in areas where labor and natural resources are cheap.

In conclusion, though global companies may harm the environment of the developing world, they could bring benefits to their customers as well as the economy of where their products are manufactured.

Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Jul 25, 2018   #2
Shurui, your opening paraphrase have off the proper interpretation of the prompt. This happened because you chose to discuss what you perceived to be the prompt topic in this first few sentences of the paragraph without making proper references to the original discussion. You also did not properly respond to the prompt question. Look at the comparison below to learn the errors that you made:

Original Prompt

Topic: multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important.
Discussion Point: This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life.
Question: Do you agree or disagree?


Your Response:
Topic: Multinational companies and their products have become an integral part of people's lives
Discussion Point: Today, both manufacturing and distribution have gone global, increasing the quantity and variety of goods while driving down the price.
Response: Despite their potential threat to local environment, they improve life rather than destroying it.


Task accuracy score: 1 - Your response is not related to the task you were provided to respond to.

The minute you get a TA score of 1, you will not be able to receive a score of 5 for the essay because there are also vocabulary, paragraph discussion clarity, and sentence structure considerations to consider, all of which will not combine to make a passing score for you because of the problems your work entails in those areas. The first and foremost thing you have to prove to the examiner is that you understood the question and how to respond to it. Refer to the following example for a more proper approach to this type of question:

Multinational conglomerates and its creations have had a far reaching influence in people's lives. This direction is believed to have a ruinous effect on the condition of our lives. I tend to disagree with this statement due to several factors.

Always be clear in your thesis statements. If the questions asks you to respond with agree or disagree then use those keywords to prove that you understood the question. Don't write a long and wordy response that could lead, as it did in this instance, to a prompt deviation. To be sure, after writing the essay, make sure to double check the prompt so that you will be confident that you properly delivered the required response and discussion paragraphs.

For an agree or disagree essay, pick one side and defend it throughout the body of paragraphs. You cannot take both sides in this discussion because it is not an extent essay. It is a single opinion essay discussion only.
OP TriceLiu 11 / 25 17  
Jul 25, 2018   #3
@Holt Thanks a lot :)
I'll try to better respond to promts next time!


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