Some countries have a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of elderlies

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Younger or older society?

Nowadays, in some countries, the ratio of elderly citizens to youths has changed drastically. In my opinion, there is more benefit to this situation than challenges.

Due to the high number of young blood, there is fresh outlook in different fields. Teenagers prefer to think outside the box and are willing to experiment with new ideas for doing things. For instance, most of the work is done using computers, databases that were recorded once in books are now stored in clouds. Learning new technologies and keeping up with the latest knowledge is found challenging by older people. Another, plus point to this scenario is better employment opportunities for adolescents. Many graduates fail to find jobs due to lack of experience and availability of space in business. With the low number of senior employees, new comes will have a wider scope.

On the other hand, young people are very unstable, they are impatient and wish to progress faster, they lack the eye for details for work which only comes with experience. Due to lack of elderly experience staff companies will have to incur heavy expenses to train new inexperienced recruits. Business such as glassware's and pottery will suffer major losses due to their new comer's mistakes. Learning under the guidance of a learned and experienced person will aid in mastering skills faster as you can seek the help required right away rather than spending time self-investigation.

In conclusion, there is some drawback such as instability of workforce and investment in training new youths and bearing the losses they cause in the process of learning; nonetheless, these are minor issues in terms of advantages addressed earlier.

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Hi, can you please evaluate my band score, I am sitting for IELTS this July.

Looking forward to your reply.

Thank you for your time.

Gloria, I am not sure if you have been studying with a tutor for your IELTS test all this time. My advice for you may run counter to whatever it was that you were taught by your tutor or your review classes so just disregard my advice if it is not in accordance with what was previously taught to you. The scoring I will be providing you will be based on how I teach my students, who have always passed their IELTS tests with the highest marks possible. Here I go.

The prompt requires a single opinion presentation. You are being asked to choose whether or not you view the situation as advantageous or not. It is not a two point of view discussion essay, which is often preceded by the instruction "Discuss both points of view..." In this instance, you are being asked to defend a single point of view based on your personal preference and opinion. So your response will be seen as only partially correct because you did indicate a point of view that you support in the prompt restatement, but then you discussed a comparison essay when it came to the body of the essay rather than presenting only evidence that proves your point of view to be the correct one. As for the score, I believe it will be as follows:

TA - 5 - your response is only partially correct and your position discussion tends to be blurred in the actual body of paragraphs.
C&C - 5 - There is some disorganization in your idea presentation. This problem is clearly seen in the following passage: "For instance, most of the work is done using computers, databases that were recorded once in books are now stored in clouds." How is this relevant to the discussion of age in relation to the older and younger generation?

LR - 6 - your vocabulary is accurate but too simple to be given a higher score.
GRA - 5 - you have made significant attempts are complex sentences but these are not always successful. However, it does not impede the understanding of your work by the reader.

Again, this is my opinion of your work and you may disregard it if you wish to. This close to the test schedule, I believe you have undergone formal training for it with tutors or classes, which may run counter to my observations or advice. I wish you the best of luck with your test.

Hi Holt,
Thank you for your feedback. I did review the site that I am referring to improve my eassy writing and the mistake you had mentioned do make sense. Shall work on it.

Thank you
Regards