IELTS Writing Task 2 - In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that governments should introduce a limit on maximum wage; Others, however, believe that it should be free for employees to earn as much as companies possibly offer them. I personally agree with the first viewpoint.

On the one hand, it may seem reasonable to allow people to get extraordinarily high pay packages as long as companies are willing to pay. The talented and high-skilled executives will be attracted to work for these enterprises. That would have beneficial effects on productivity and creativity which may bring significant revenues for the company. As a result, a country with a huge amount of successful businesses seems to easily build up a thriving economy in which the citizens are provided with a high living standard.

In spite of these above arguments, I agree that governments should adopt a maximum wage legislation. The income inequality causes the huge pay gap between the highest and lowest earners and by introducing a maximum wage, it can help to reduce this difference. This positive change can make employees feel more motivated to work harder because of the fair payment. Furthermore, instead of spending a huge sum on executives' salaries, companies can use that money to invest in other crucial aspects, such as marketing or researching and developing products which may make significant contributions to companies' profit.

In conclusion, I believe that it would do wonders for the development of a nation if the government sets a limit on the employee remuneration.

You did a very good job of paraphrasing the original topic and reference points. The change is significant enough to boost your preliminary C+C score and also, increase your LR consideration. Even your opinion is well represented in the discussion so the essay will have a nice and safe preliminary score to begin with.

The error in the presentation came in the discussion paragraphs. Based on the preliminary discussion format, the proper response presentation would have been:

Par. 2: Public opinion explanation + reasons it is correct
Par. 3: Public opinion + reasons it is correct
Par. 4: Personal opinion and the reason why you support one of the 2 opinions

The GRA and C+C sectional scores require you to reference the difference or separation between the use of the third and first person pronouns respectively. It is important to do so because the discussion format for this essay is of the comparative nature. So, while this essay will receive a good score, it falls short of the discussion format requirements and could find itself being held back from receiving the highest possible score.

Thank you so much for your detailed comment. Your advice is really valuable and helps me a lot to improve in my next essay.