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IELTS - Many countries spend large amounts of sports events. Agree or Disagree


devabe2005 46 / 100  
Jan 24, 2013   #1
QUESTION:
Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

ANSWER:
Large amount required to spend for Olympic Games and foot ball world cup. Some support while others think that huge amount should be spent on young children to train them as sportsperson. In this essay, I strongly agree to the statement, huge amount should be spent to motivate and to shape young sports athletes.

Countries should spend enormous money for special training for the children who as eager to learn. Motivate youngsters by providing scholarships who are winning in the local competitions. They should provide well equipped facilities and amenities for sportsperson. Moreover, they have to form a successful team which contains trained coach, energetic athletes and medical practitioner. It strengthens patriotism among youngsters to serve for the country and make the country proud by winning world record.

On the other hand, organizing sports competition will economically profit for the countries. They try to show to best way to attract investors and business. It will attract many tourist to their country and it result in more foreign currency transaction. Moreover, local industry like tourism, hotels, restaurants and so forth benefited by the visitors. It increases commercial and residential development; common that people return as residents; there by demand for housing and other services. Heighten local awareness, interest resulting in a great sense of pride and ownership. It improves local community's visits a change to experience other cultures which broadens understanding.

In a nutshell, though spending money on conducting sports event will earn great revenue but investing monies for youngsters will improve sports in the country. More athletes would be motivated and win for their country and which improves status around the world and give pride and proud to their nation.

dumi 1 / 7,118 1592  
Jan 24, 2013   #2
Elder people in their young life faced a lot of hardships to bring up their children.

.... This is your opening sentence and therefore it should be very strong to give a start with a good punch. However, this seems to be irrelevant as an idea... How do you link this idea with spending on sports ?

There are several issues with your writing. Specially you need to pay more attention to organizing your ideas to flow nicely through out your essay. You must keep every sentence hooked together without letting them fall out from the frame. :)
Tess962 2 / 10 4  
Jan 24, 2013   #3
In this essay

Personally, I prefer not to use this kind of statement

Some support while others think that huge amount should be spent on young children to train them as sportsperson.

I think this is a little too similar to the prompt. Instead of proponing both point of view in the incipit, you could try doing so:

In the first paragraph express only your point of view and motivate it the second, as you have done.
Then you could use an expression like "some people could believe that investing the money in events is better" and use the third paragraph.

Maybe you could try to modify a little the conclusion, to explain in a more convincing manner why your way of thinking is the right one.

I hope I was clear enough, I'm still not very at ease with english...
I hope you find my opinion useful!
Arun0506 27 / 132 34  
Jan 24, 2013   #4
Hi Devraj / Tessy / Duminda,
I got my IELTS results. Listening - 7.5 , Reading -7.5, Speaking - 7 and Writing - 6.
Thanks for all your help. Again I need to work on my writing appear for Exam later.
Thanks again.

Regards,
Arun


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