Ielts, Task2, Countryside or city, Discuss both sides + Opinion

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside.
Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

Although it is sometimes thought that it is better to dwell in metropolises, other people believe that living in rural areas is beneficial. In my opinion, I consider that living in an urban area is better owing to job opportunities and uber facilities.

On the one hand, living in the countryside is better because of the peaceful environment and lesser stress, according to some. In other words, people who live in rural areas have less stressful lives because their needs are a minimal and consequently lesser struggle in day to day lives. Being close to nature also provides a peaceful environment. Another reason why people tend to think that the countryside is better because it offers healthier air and organic food. The environment in the rural areas have lesser pollution owing to a lesser crowd and they can have the food grown in their own farms.

On the other hand, it is often believed that living in a city is better because it provides better job opportunities, basic facilities and I agree. All the multinational companies set up their offices in metro cities which ensure more employment and handsome perks for people working there. For example, all the Forbes top 100 companies have their offices in New York and obviously, this is the reason New York is one of the most populated cities in the world. Furthermore, it is quite evident that urban areas have better healthcare facilities, public transport, and infrastructure. As a result, more and more people prefer settling in urban areas, as it ensures an overall better life.

In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I think that urban areas provide better life as a result of exciting job opportunities, better health care, and lifestyle.

Please review and provide your feedback, I am worried I have my exam on 18th-August, few days left to prepare :(

Hernant, you need to learn to analyze what number of paragraphs are expected in your presentation rather than automatically writing only a 4 paragraph essay. I teach my students that the reference to the number of paragraphs, which helps you learn immediately how fast you need to write, is found in the discussion instruction. In this case, you are looking at a 5 paragraph essay because the instruction indicates:


. So the format for the whole essay is as follows:

1. Prompt paraphrase
2. Public POV 1
3. Public POV 2
4. Personal Opinion
5. Concluding summary.

Only the extent and agree or disagree essays are written in the 4 paragraph format unless otherwise indicated. A 5 paragraph presentation in the agree or disagree and extent essays is optional, depending upon how well you understand and have knowledge about the topic. Those sorts of essays only become a 5 paragraph presentation when an example is presented and explained.

The mistake that you made in this essay is that you placed your personal opinion in the opening paraphrase, which is never done. It is not done because of the 5 sentence limitation per paragraph which limits your ability to discuss your personal opinion. The reason for the limitation: The personal opinion requires the following elements of explanation per paragraph.

1. Topic sentence
2. Justification
3. Additional reasoning
4. Example (optional)
5. Connection of the example to the topic (optional)

Now, as far as your prompt paraphrasing is concerned, I feel that it has not been properly presented because you used one long sentence presentation for it when it should have been at least 3 sentences in order to meet the minimum 3, maximum 5 sentence allowance per paragraph. This has an effect on your GRA score as you are not really showing off your ability to write simple and complex sentences in the proper manner. I always advice my students to write short sentences that connect to the first sentence for the sake of clarity, cohesiveness, and GRA considerations. I would have written this as:

A discussion has come up regarding whether there is a higher quality of life in the city or the countryside. On the one hand, those who live in the city believe they have the better living options. On the other hand, the countryside residents believe their area where they live offers more living advantages. This essay shall present the public reasons supporting each point of view after which I shall present my personal opinion regarding the discussion.

Why should the public point of view be discussed from a public point of view? That is based on the reference point "It is thought by some", meaning the public, in the topic presentation of the prompt. Why should the personal point of view be presented separately as a paragraph? The original instruction requires the 3 body paragraph discussion format with the reference to "Discuss both points of view AND give your personal opinion". The word "AND" indicates a separate presentation for the personal point of view within the body of paragraphs.

Points and supporting sentences are not enough.

You did very well but ,my from my perspective, there still exist somethings that may exacerbate your essay :
1. Supporting ideas are not really clear and persuasive .You should explain more .
2. You should paraphrase " living in a city is better because" in the essay's body 2 to make your essay less boring .