In this topic, the speaker would say about creativity. It is as important in education as literacy and we have to treat with same status. Children action often become representative of creativity because they are not frighten to be wrong. Sometime to be wrong will create something new that never found before. However when every child always gets a strong push to avoid the mistake, they will be afraid to do something and their creativity will disappper. Today, this situation common happen . As the children grow up, many people will educate them strictly. In addition, education system is considered in the idea of academic ability, while the main purpose of education is to prepare people for getting job forbid everything not useful such us music and art. Thus many people having highly-talented and creativity hesitate to enter the school because there will not a proper service for their talent. At the end of speech, the speaker said that we need start to reconstruct our mind about the richness of human capacity and remind the principal education. Our task today , we have to make our children understand creative capacities for the richness, so they can face the future.
i have no doubt that you are great in writing, but lemme give you some corrections
In this topic, the speaker
would say says about creativity. would to explain for future, in this case, the speaker already explain before, so better to avoid "would"
as important in education same as literacy and we ...
However when every child always gets a strong push to avoid the mistake, they will be afraid to (...) their creativity will
disappper dissapear ( look the subject, every child (singular) they ( plural)
Disappear is not fit in this content
However, when children always get pressure to avoid the mistake, they will be afraid to do something and will lose their creativity.
In this topic, the speaker would
sayspeak about creativity.
... education as literacy,and we ...
... will create something new that has never been found before.
... strong push to avoid
thesuch mistake, they will be ...
Today, this situation
common happenis persistent
... to prepare people for getting jobs, forbid everything not ...
Thus many people
having highly-talented and creativitycreative,hesitate to enter (...) there will not have a proper service ...
... the speaker said that we need to start
tothe reconstructionof our mind about the richness ...
I hope this helps.