IELTS TASK 2: Crimes committed by young people are increasing in major cities throughout the world

youngsters break the law

In this day and age, it is true that more and more juveniles commit an offense worldwide. As far as I am concerned, the reasons related to this phenomenon vary and several measures can be implemented to persuade others to reduce this trend.

The reasons why many youngsters break the law are twofold. One of the prominent causes is the omnipresence of violent films or games. Young people, unlike adults, do not have the strong ability to distinguish right from wrong. Besides, excessive violence in the virtual world renders them aggressive and navigates them to consider violence as the optimal solution to tackle obstacles and show their personality as heroes who punish evil they enjoy on television. In some situations, patients who are over obsessed with the scene of fights on games online can commit serious offenses such as murder or robbery. Secondly, due to the high poverty rate in several countries, having supported their family's finance, many children take part in unlawful activities like pickpocketing or tricking visitors as a way of making a living.

It is parents and the government that have to take responsibility for solving this issue. Firstly, the family should put together with the school to manage and adjust the sources of entertainment their children enjoy and educate them on how to make healthy use of films and games. Moreover, providing financial support for the poor area and creating more employment opportunities for youth is highly recommended to rise their income and raise awareness of what punishment they will face if offending.

In conclusion, both the prevalence of entertainment which consists of violent factors, and the demand to earn money for a living are considered as the chief culprit behind the increasing number of young criminals. Join efforts of the goverment and parents will help reduce the levels of youth crimes.

The thesis statement is useless. It does not accurately restate the prompt nor establish the discussion platform for the topic. The examiner will read the presentation and realize that the student is not familiar with the topic or, he did not want to create a score increasing reasoning summary for some reason. By not indicating that he has good English comprehension skills and, that he is capable of summarizing his discussion thoughts as he would be required to do in a formal class, he has proven an inability to use the English language in a manner that would help him communicate with others. The one thing examiners hate reading are empty prompt restatements that never include a writer's opinion. It usually results in a failing preliminary score. There is however something the writer did right, he used a first person pronoun to indicate his empty opinion. Where no reasons are provided, the writer's opinion becomes invalid.

Based on the given discussion, the writer appears to have sound knowledge of the topic. However, by using two reasons per paragraph where one was sufficient, he created an under developed reasoning paragraph for each presentation. It is best to use only one reason (when indicated) and develop that reason fully or, use 2 connected reasons that can be seen as coherent through the use of transition sentences and phrases.