Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Should the criminals in jail be educated?---IELTS


Bruce 1 / -  
Jun 23, 2011   #1
please help me check it. Thank you very much :D

Never in history was criminals' rights so emphasized as in modern society. In the past, the punishment for the criminals is to put them in the jail with being deprived of many personal right and political right. Today, however, an increasing number of convicts are provided with adequate education and working opportunities. Personally, I incline towards the latter practice.

To begin with, it is obvious that the offenders in the jail are entitled to basic human rights. Despite the mistakes they made, they have rights to be educated and working. In fact, most of them will return to society in a few years. The vocational trainings in the jail provide convicts with a legal way to earn their bread and butter after release. Education also helps them to reshape their justified values and stops them posing new threats to the society.

Besides, making the convicts work could release the economic burden of prisons as well as the whole society because they actually pay for their living through working on their own. If the criminals not working, governments would have no choice but spend part of the taxpayer's money on the operation of prison, which would directly minimize the expenditure on public facilities and education.

That is not to say, however, the traditional ways of punishing criminals have no merits at all. After all, a stricter rule of punishment would pose a deterrent effect to those who have the intention of committing crimes. Yet, the modern way to punish them is more humanity and takes the long-term possible implications into account.

Taken all together, criminals could also enjoy basic human rights and we should help them develop both emotional and physical wellbeing.

ibtessam 3 / 20  
Jun 24, 2011   #2
Hi,I have a few minor suggestions.
-you could imply what happens once criminals are released.Its not easy for criminals to find work due to the social stigma against them..this may lead to a vicious cycle of no work,desperation and making a conscious choice of going back to a life of crime.It is a lose-lose situation for both criminals and the society.

-Make your essay come alive by giving real life examples of ongoing education/vocational training programs in jails or correction centers and what the results were.( Example:retention rates)...this will make your essay stronger.

happy writing!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jun 25, 2011   #3
Personally, I feel inclined towards the latter practice. do not use "latter" this way. It is a confusing way of communicating. Specify what you feel inclined towards.

If the criminals are not working, governments will have no choice but to spend part of the taxpayers' money on the operation of prisons, which would directly minimize the expenditure on public facilities and education.

I agree with your argument!
:-)
shikhasachdeva 1 / 2  
Jun 25, 2011   #4
yes according to me looking at the background of the criminals , dey shud be educated but only after fulfilling the conditions of their punishments i.e it shudn't be an excuse of escaping the main reason of dem being jailed ... i m doing LLB and in had a subject criminology in my second year , i read dat due to societal pressures and humiliation , many convicts after being released from jail either commit suicide or gt involved into criminal activities in order to come out of the societal issues ... therefore providing education cud b a good measure for the covicts to face the outside world aftr release..


Home / Writing Feedback / Should the criminals in jail be educated?---IELTS