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sending criminals in jail or offering them education & job training


mandyhhhhhhhh 2 / 2  
Oct 31, 2009   #1
thank you for your help!O(∩_∩)O

The traditional punishment for the criminal is to put them in jail for a period of time with being deprived of many personal right and political right, in other words, they cannot do anything they want. Of courerse, that period of the time need to depen on how serious the effect were brought the society by the criminal themselves. However, just put them in prison does not means can rebuild them radically, effectively and positively.

Anything comes from reason, nothing comes from nothing, so we should find the source before we solve a problem. People commit a crime must have their own reasons. For instance, a man steal money perhaps have different causations, for the money he stole could be the urgent need for his mother's medical fee, probably he go astray for lack of normal education during his childhood or maybe he could not make a living and so on. Therefore, I think we shoul give the criminals another chance to mend their ways, offer them some moral education or skill training which could be the thorough strategy to put them on the right track finally.

However, time is so short for everyone that we should make a good use of every second., even for a person who had make some mistakes. Instead of let them stay in prison and do nothings, why not to let them to lean something skillfully which not only benefit the malefactors themselves, but also could be propitious to the whole society.

In addition, putting the people in prison too long could make them feel despair to the world and cultivate the negative view of their life. Yet, it is meaningless to let them back to the society after they complete a term of imprisonment. The government should conduct the criminals from the positive ways by using education.

Although, the criminals should pay for their mistake and they deserve to receive the relative punishments, some of them are even dangerous to our society. But to my way of thinking, offering the criminal some education and job training instead of putting them in jail is the most thorough, efficient and positive path the guide them back to our society

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Nov 2, 2009   #2
Don't use weak, vague words like "them" when you can be more descriptive:
The traditional punishment for the criminal is to put the offender in jail for...

Of course , that... period of the time need to depend on how serious ...

People committing a crime must have their own reasons. For instance, a man stealing money perhaps has different causations, for the ...

Instead of letting them stay in prison and do nothing , why not to let them to learn s omething ...

You still have trouble with the verbs, but the essay has wisdom. You should read some articles about prisoner education and cite them; that will be even more impressive.
OP mandyhhhhhhhh 2 / 2  
Nov 3, 2009   #3
Thank you Kevin. I deeply appreciate your modification and advice.The next article, I will try my best to avoid the same mistake.


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