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IELTS essay youth criminals should be punished in the same way as adults ?


gabbie 9 / 19 3  
Nov 12, 2013   #1
young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. Do you agree or disagree ?

That juvenile delinquency is on the rise at an alarming rate has drawn much social concern. Some people suggest that a same punishment as that for adults should be imposed on young offenders who commit serious crimes. Personally, I do not completely agree with this notion.

To begin, it is particularly significant that punishment acts as a deterrent to young wrongdoers against re-offending. For example, a teenaged murderer would not feel guilty or feared the criminal justice system and would be likely to continue his misdeed if he was not given a severe retribution. As a result, this will be, of course, dangerous to the whole society. Without doubt, punishment should be equally inflicted regardless of ages.

Nevertheless, it is often argued that punishing juvenile offenders in the same way as adults could possibly have many drawbacks. First of all, young criminals are more likely to suffer from psychological problems than adults do. It is obvious that they are still in adolescence and immature, so they can be fully unaware of all the wrongdoings they make. If they are sentenced to imprisonment in a same way as adults, they might suffer from shock or even mental disorders, which sometimes is the hindrance to them when they come back to normal life after being in prison. Furthermore, facing the heavy sentence may lead them to adopt negative behaviors that are the norm in the hostile prison environment, for example, assault and sexual abuse since their identity are still developing.

In conclusion, although teenagers commit serious crimes, in my view, they should be more focused on rehabilitation rather than severe punishment as for adults in order to produce a positive transformation.
mmarlene96 - / 3  
Nov 12, 2013   #2
Your conclusion can be more developed
Bobbypark 3 / 8  
Nov 15, 2013   #3
I like how u wrote to maintain the balanced arguments. However, the conclusion can be improved better.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Nov 27, 2013   #4
Very good introduction - Good structure, vocabulary , grammar etc. :)

a teenaged murderer would not feel guilty or feared the criminal justice system

A teenage murderer would not feel guilty or afraid of the criminal justice system
You need to provide specific examples for your reasoning in the body paragraphs.


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