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Culture in my hometown influences the increase cost of wedding party or marriage


djayadi 1 / 1  
May 3, 2014   #1
Indonesia has many islands and cultures. And every island has typically culture. The culture definitely is influenced by ancestor. The culture is covering wedding party or marriage. As far as we know, marriage is important for someone to continue our next generation. It means someone must continue his lineage. But, it is relevant with their culture. They must obey with regulation is made by their ancestor.

Many people say, marriage relevant with cost. It's true. The marriage related to cost, because of demands of the times. Actually, of the first the culture has made the regulation, but in modern era commodity of marriage is most expensive. So, they only add a little purpose as needed. The real example in my hometown is Northern Borneo, Tarakan. In Tarakan has the native tribe namely tidung. Tidung has many kinds of culture such as wedding ceremony, welcoming guests, abundant harvest celebration. But, the most interesting is about wedding ceremony till wedding party. Firstly, if some one has intention to engage the girl, he has to meet with her parents. Usually you have to carry your parents to gather with her parents. The ordinary women filed bride price as usual. The bride price usually around 20 millions rupiahs, but it depend on degree of education the girl. If the girl has high education, absolutely the bride price is most expensive. When it was agreed, continue to find good day. According, to their beliefs, not all days are good, so they choose the day be careful. When they gain the good day continue to prepare wedding ceremony. The most important thing is wedding ceremony because it determines our prestige. If it were so we have to looking for the best place and it relevant with the cost.

In my opinion, I disagree with the statement. It would restrict the right of a person while he interest with someone. No problem if the man is rich, how if the man only simple youth. As matter of fact, the women choose who rich man. Actually, the most important thing is the man has responsible with the women.

Overall, we don't have privilege to judge which the culture is wrong, so that we have to change the culture. Nor we have too much money in order to her parents accepted us. The culture is culture; we don't have authorization to change a culture that has binding. We must respect against of each culture.

anshita 2 / 4  
May 3, 2014   #2
Looks good, but you need to focus on grammar.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 3, 2014   #3
Indonesia has many islands and cultures. And every island has typically culture. The culture definitely is influenced by ancestor. The culture is covering wedding party or marriage.

The word "culture" is getting repeated over and over again :( You need to present your ideas in a more organized and interesting manner. This is what I suggest;

Indonesia is a country consisting of many islands each having its authentic culture. These cultures have been carried forward from generation to generation by making lots of efforts to preserve their unique traditions and beliefs.

What is the topic of this essay? What had been the purpose of writing this? Those information are important for us to provide you with more meaningful comments.
OP djayadi 1 / 1  
May 4, 2014   #4
thanks for your suggestion..
fikri 5 / 317 71  
May 5, 2014   #5
when you write an essay here in essayforum, you should write the task of his essay in the beginning, so the readers will easier to know he type of your essay,

also, you should put space between each paragraph to know where you put the general and the details
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
May 6, 2014   #6
Logon to EF
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Always make it a habit of including the prompt on top of your essay :)

Indonesia has many islands and cultures. And every island has typically culture.

Indonesia is of many islands with diverse cultures
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
May 6, 2014   #7
Mayday... Mayday... Mayday... all these accounts refer to one user: (all suspended )

Do you have more than one account here? I suggest you not to do it. Otherwise all accounts will be demolished
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