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(IELTS essay) Dangerous sports banned or not; Children put themselves in trouble


joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Feb 1, 2013   #1
Should dangerous sports such as boxing or motor racing be banned?

Millions of people play sports every day and inevitably injured or even dead. Most players and spectators accept this risk. However, some people like to see dangerous sports such as boxing banned. In this essay, I will discuss why I support dangerous sports.

The biggest reason for objecting to extreme sports is that they can be very dangerous and even sometimes life threatening. More than that, the sports people along with the spectators are in danger. For instance, a formula one car crashes, the driver undoubtedly injured and it is possible that the people in the crowd will be too. Furthermore, sports are for relaxation and enjoyment and for injuries and sufferings. Children imitate them and put themselves in trouble.

On the other hand, sports and games seem to be natural to humans. There are no sports without danger. People can learn their limits and strengths through playing with others, they also learn acceptable social behaviors, and respect the right of others. Sports encourage spirit of healthy competition. Sports are there for, not just a physical phenomenon, but also, a social one. Besides, there is an issue of freedom. Without a wide a range of sports, many people would feel trapped or limited.

People should be free to participate in activities with others as long as it does not affect the safety of non-participants. Moreover, some sports act as a safety value for the society by reducing stress. Everybody accept the need of regulations. Medical bodies are introduced safety rules for all hazardous sports. Players are welcome these protective measures. If people are following these regulation, we can avoid dangers to an extent and enjoy these sports.

In conclusion, our society would be healthier, if more people took part in sports of all kinds. We should continue to try to prevent accidents and injuries. However, we should also ensure that sports are exciting and above all, it gives fun.

somysojan 8 / 19 8  
Feb 2, 2013   #2
][quote=joythblessy]Millions ofMany people die or get injured everyday by engaging in dangerous sports .play sports every day and inevitably injured or even dead[/quote ].Boxing and motor racing are the best examples of such sports .Eventhough these activities are endangering,i feel these should not be banned as...
devabe2005 46 / 97  
Feb 3, 2013   #3
enjoyment and for injuries and sufferings. --> i think you missed "not" between "and" "for" --> enjoyment and not for injuries and sufferings.

We should continue to try to prevent accidents and injuries. However, we should also ensure that sports are exciting and above all, it gives fun. --> here you are using "we" i think its better to avoid "we" and you can give people -- >People should continue to try to prevent accidents and injuries. However, i think that sports are exciting and above all, it gives fun.

We should continue to try to prevent accidents and injuries. --> I think that "continue" and "try" both are same either you can use "continue to" or "try to" both should not use at the same time --> We should try to prevent accidents and injuries.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 3, 2013   #4
Millions of people play sports every day and inevitably injured or even dead.

....this later part makes your sentence very confusing. Do you mean millions people die everyday by taking part in sports.... I don't think this is true

More than that, the sports people along with the spectators are in danger.

.... this is so only in certain games.... If you take swimming or basketball thought players have certain risks, the spectators generally don't have such risks.

Children imitate them and put themselves in trouble.

.... this sentence sounds irrelevant for this para.
My advice for you is to limit your body paras to contain just one reason and a specific reason for that. Otherwise, you would have a problem with managing time.
OP joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Feb 3, 2013   #5
Hai dumi...

Thanks for your correction and suggestions..

So many people concerned about the time for my essays..By God's great grace i am compleating all my essays before timelimt. my limit is 35mints even....).

Before attemting the essays i managed the speed of my writing..so...no problem with time...).
Please tell me is there any problem except time in writing like this and including more ideas in my essays.

Thanks...
Tessy


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