Hello everyone,
Below is my essay for Ielts academic task 2. If it is possible, please give me a score
Task 2:
Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?
Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Forest seems to be a lung of the earth. It helps absorb carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and emits oxygen which is an essential substance for human being. Besides, forest also takes the role as a filter which purifies our atmosphere. However, it is a very pity that forest is being destroyed seriously by human activities.
In the world, many nations enacts many laws to inhibit the deforestation issue. Even, in some nations, deforestation is equivalent to the death penalty. Why is the guilty deforestation so serious like that? Let look closer to understand the extent of danger of deforestation.
The more deforestation, the more polluted environment. Loss of forest leads to an increase of carbon dioxide and a decrease of oxygen in the atmosphere. It causes the global warning.. This phenomenon has a series of impact to our habitat such as flood, melted-ice, drought. Then the environment becomes more severe. The creatures in the earth can not adapt to these changes and they die. Besides, deforestation means that the creatures lose their habitat. Finally, it leads to the death. In conclusion, deforestation synonyms to the extinction.
With the negative impact of deforestation on our life, we need to act to intercept this issue. First, we need to enhance each people awareness, help them understand how important forest is. Besides, the government gives the forest protector the best conditions to protect forest and plant the forest. Secondly, we can reuse the products made from wood such as: writing paper, paper bags and paper products.
As you can see, to decrease deforestation is very easy, just by some simple way as aforementioned. Let make the world better together.
1. I think that "furthermore" is more formal than "Besides", I've seen you using it twice.
2. writing paper, paper bags and paper products. paper products > writing paper = paper bags, they all include the same material which refers paper.
Good luck to your IELTS exam.
aloha thphuong1911 , here are my thoughts for your essay:
- in writing essay, background is more important because the first valuation of essay is background. Therefore, make your background better than before.
- I think you are out of the topic given. Thus, your task response needs corrective more.
- to make background, you have to : 1) paraphrase the question2) write your position or your general opinion
I hope it can be helpful
thank you
