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The Detrimental Effect of Modern Communication to Social Live brings also some positive values IELTS



M3L1 26 / 6  
Nov 4, 2015   #1
Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduce the amount of time people spend seing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In a sophisticated modern world today, people used advance devices and forms to communicate. Despite of the evidence that it has declined the amount of time to meet each other, this lifestyle has influenced their social lives. Although this advance communication technology brings a dire effect of their social relations, it makes people's life more simple.

A long time before communication media increase significantly, people had a close relation with their friends and neighbors. They usually came to their friends' house to play or doing things together. There were a telephone line too, but they just used it for a short conversation, commonly to arrange a meeting or gathering. For someone in distances, they sent a letter to had conversations or gave informations. Apparently, sometimes the letter did not arrive in time because of a bad weather or gone. These cause delayed and missed communication between them.

However, the invention of emails and social messaging makes life easier. By social applications that are available now, such as WhatsApp, Blackberry Messenger and Facebook, people can keep in touch with their friends anywhere and anytime. They also can have a visual conversation which can see the opponent, using a front camera in their gadget or laptop. The negative effects of these, many users are more concerned to their devices than their society. They neglected the people surround them without paying attention on their needs, for example their family and neighbors. When someone too focus on smartphone, he regardless cannot aware on his environment.

To conclude, indeed these high technology of communication forms have a detrimental effect to people's social lives, but it gave a lot of benefits to people's live.

SHanafi 120 / 357  
Nov 5, 2015   #2
Let me point of your answer engagement with the question.

Looking backward this part of your prompt

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In such prompt you have to answer the range of your agreement or disagreement related to providing issue, particularly about technological effect on human interaction. Hence, providing a paraphrase of either your agree or disagree is a must. Let me try to make an intro sample.

The advance of information technology proliferates in 21st century. Due to its easiest access, some messaging services such as email and messaging apps are used to build strong communication while another argument says that this may harm friend visit on particular. I tend to agree that using instant messaging to communicate will deteriorate face-to-face interaction as well as it can lead an apart relation of close relatives.

Hopefully it helps :)
Ra_fhli 22 / 17  
Nov 5, 2015   #3
Hi, Mrs. Meli, your writing actually has good idea, but the way to serve it still need some improvement, espesially about punctuation.
here some error that I found.

There were a telephone line too, but they just used it for a short conversation, commonly to arrange a meeting or gathering. For , in term of academic writing it would be better if you avoid to use FANBOYS (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So) in the fisrt sentence. someone in distances, they sent a letter to had conversations or gave informations (information's).

Hope it will help you more.

Cheers.
akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Nov 5, 2015   #4
Hello miss... I will give few suggestion about your writing.

... it makes people's life more simple . simpler

They usually came to their friends' house to play or doing (do, because it must coequal) things together. There were (was) a telephone line too, but they just used it for a short conversation, commonly to arrange a meeting or gathering. For someone in distances, they sent a letter to had conversations or gave informations (plural: yet information).


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