effects of the economic growth
Some people believe that the development of economy is the only solution to global issues of hunger and poverty. Others, however, argue that the environment is being threatened by economic growth, so it must be halted. I totally agree with the second viewpoint.
On the one hand, it is beneficial for the poor to live in a country which has a thriving economy. Firstly, the more companies are established, the more opportunities for jobs would appear. Therefore, it is probably easy for poor people to find a job to meet their basic needs. Secondly, the government can support the starving and needy by supplemental income or constructing charitable accommodations.
On the other hand, the increase of economy that is not unstainable may have a negative impact on the environment. For example, deforestation and over-exploiting natural resources in order to make profits without being based on meeting human needs would lead to biodiversity reduction, or even more severe natural disasters. In addition, using fossil fuels, which provide energy for growing industrialization, is causing global warming.
In conclusion, while the economic growth plays an important role in bringing a better life, it seems to me that the environmental issues should also be taken into account to avoid resulting in serious consequences.
@Sun271
Hi there!
I can see that you're new here. Welcome to the forum! I hope that you joining us here would bring you positive benefits in the long-run as you are learning the language.
Firstly, I find that your writing has grammatical lapses that can easily be resolved. Ensure that you are able to get a grasp of the overall structure that you're working with. Never stretch your sentences too thin that you're unable to dissect the information wisely. Try to always be thorough and yet maintain a sense of self as you are writing. Once you have passed through this, you'll be able to fortify a simplified and yet put-together language that'll give you more of a dynamic writing style.
For instance, take a look at your second to the last paragraph. The second sentence appears to be overstretched and unnecessarily long. Try to minimize the usage of filler words - or the usage of phrases that make you appear as though you are merely mumbling than adding anything substantial to the text. Bear this in mind at all times.
Furthermore, I would also suggest that you try to add more diversification in your writing by evading synonymous words altogether.
Take a look at your second paragraph. Try this revision:
... to live in an economically thriving country which has a thriving economy. Firstly, the more ... appear there are more job opportunities where there's an emergence of companies. Therefore, it is probably easy easier for poor ...
Best of luck in your writing as always!
@Maria
Could you show me my grammatical lapses? Thank you so much!
Hello @Sun241
I hope my feedback will be useful for you
you should try to avoid repetition as much as possible.
On the one hand To start with, it is beneficial...
On the other hand However/Nevertheless/Nonetheless, the increase in aneconomy that is not unstainable unattainable may have ...
..., which provides energy for developing industrialization, is causing causes/results global warming.
... the economic growth plays an...
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