Dicussion between putting some strict controls about noise and making as much noise as possible

noise control issue

It is generally believed that noise should be controlled strictly whereas others of the view that they are free to make noise if they want . In my opinion, it is better to reduce noise because too much noise can make people feel uncomfortable.

On the one hand, some people consider that they have authorities to make as much noise as posible. This is because it make them feel happy, and some people think that it will not effect anyone such as singing karaoke at their own house , turning max speakers volume. Despite this, i would argue that if we can minimise noise , we will have lives more pleasure.

On the other hand, I agree with those who believe that some strict controls about noise contribute to help people having a good environment for working , living. Because, When people have peaceful atmosphere, comfortable feeling lives. For examples, we can see lots of sign to keep silent in some public places. I, therefore, believe that controlling noise is a problem we should solve.

In conclusion, While making noise can make people feel relax themselves but it will effect people surround;controlling noise will bring far more advantages for a lot of people. Therefore, on balance, I firmly belive that people should be stricted making noise.

Your prompt restatement became confusing to the reader. There is a lack of clarity and coherence in that presentation because you chose to write a long compressed sentence to represent 2 opposing ideas. The correct way to write that section would have been to use one sentence for every idea. The purpose of a sentence is to deliver a singular piece of information to the reader, something that becomes difficult when you write a run-on sentence such as the one above.

The discussion paragraphs are not comparative enough. You are using a singular point of view, your own, for the discussion, when the requirement is to compare the public opinion with your own. So the essay will be considered under developed because of the lack of comparison balance in the paragraph presentations.