Hi there, hope you help me to correct my essay. Thanks ^^
Dieting can change a person's life for the better or ruin one's life completely. What is your opinion ?
Nowadays, it's undiniable that diets is the way to achive or maintain a controlled weight. As a result, this can bring back a wide range of positives with one's life. However, diet in the unconcious ways may destroy people in term of health.
Frist of all, it is reality that diet in most cases used in combination with physical exercises to lose weight in those who are overweight or obese. As we known that obesity easily influences to our aesthetic factor, bodies factor and it can also lead to large number of dieases such as steatosis, heart diease, diabets, hypertension and even cancer...Besides, some athletes folow a diet to gain weight that usually in the form of muscle. According to researchers, if people want to lose weight sucessfully, they need to afford. For example, Zelda Haxby who are 47 years old losing 127 kg after 5 years old with 225kg at first.
Secondly, advantages and disadvantages are like the both side of a coin. Diet in some elements may miss out on nutrients in the purpose that people focus on eating one foods group as well as avoid certain food groups that contain valuable nutrients. Moreover, people who focus soley on quick weight loss easy to gain the weight back after the diet complete because of no lifestyle changes. Furthermore, loss of muscle and water are another problems. Bassically, water help transport necessary nutrients, muscle play the important role with how much calories your body burns and also increase your overall metabolism. Hence, all of those will put people in a weight loss disaster.
In conclusion, good diet prolong our longevity, maintain or improve general health. By the constract, faith diet putting yourself at risk for health problems. Therefore, people have to conscious by their own way during diet issues.
1. "Diet" has several meanings. Diet could refer to a limited range or amount of food to people eat in order to become thinner, or it could refer to other meanings. I suggest you provide a more clear definition in the beginning.
2. "Unconscious ways" seems strange. Did you mean inappropriate or wrong ways?
3. In the second paragraph, it seems like you tried to mention the positive side of a diet, because you talked about the disadvantages of obesity, which could be solved when people are on a diet. However, you started to talked about athletes who want to gain weight!! I get confused. In my opinion, one paragraph should only have one central idea, and all the sentences should point out the direction to guide readers to the next paragraph. You did not organize your sentence well in this paragraph, so readers may fail to grasp your ideas.
4. What do you mean "in the form of muscle"?
5. Who conducted the research you cited? Besides, I do understand this sentence: If people want to lose weight successfully, they need to afford. Afford??
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