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WRITING TASK 2: Dieting to lose weight has become increasingly prevalent in the developed world. Why



abcdefghiloveu 1 / -  
May 23, 2021   #1

losing weight just by dieting



WRITING TASK 2: dieting to lose weight has become increasingly prevalent in the developed world. Why do you think people nowadays are so concerned with body shape and size?

These days, an increasing number of people are concerned about their body shapes and losing weight by dieting has gained popularity across the updated world. From my perspective, modern citizens are practically apprehensive of overweight appearance and there is a variety of reasons for focusing on their personal shapes.

First, it is undeniable that in the modern society, possessing good-looking appearances is a strong advantage for people in workplaces. Evidently, everyone desires to apply for prestigious companies but the recruiters have a tendency to give attractive employees chance to work with them. Moreover, it is also easier for these employees to expand their social circle and receive respect from coworkers and authority. Therefore, slim body shape is a big plus if people want to have a successful career path so they have to pay attention to their figures.

Second, it is obvious that advertisements tend to encourage people to value slim figures. In commercial area, several desirable consumer products are predominantly displayed alongside trim models, particularly cosmetics and fashion industry. As a result, there is a perception on consumers' minds that skinny figure is one of the beauty standards nowadays and numbers of people getting thinner are rising considerably. For example, advertisements of fashion brands (such as H&M, Prada and Forever21) always show their fashionable clothing beside slender stars who look most gorgeous in these outfits, not plump models.

In sum, bothering about overweight figures and starting diets to stay fit are very popular nowadays because of the social beauty criteria in workplaces and advertisements as well. However, there is still no precise confirmation pointing out that slimness is the only beauty trait or chubby people are unaccepted in this community. So, we should make sure not to be unconfident or become malnourished by over dieting.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
May 24, 2021   #2
updated world

You are not talking about an app. There is no " updated" world to speak of. However, there is a " constantly modernizing" world or "image conscious " world.

variety of reasons for focusing on their personal shapes.

This is not a discussion statement . Use 2 sentences. 1 reason for shape and 1 for size . Direct reasons create clear topic foundations for the body of paragraphs and proves you understood the discussion instructions.

to expand their social circle and receive respect from coworkers and authority.

This is underdeveloped reason. Consider adding a supporting reason along with an example to justify it. You need to make sure that each reason is fully explained to help boost the C+C score.

commercial area

Wrong phrase reference. You are talking about fashion in relation to your discussion. Yes, it has to do with sales, but it is not a common type of commerce. This is market specific.

However, there is still no ... by over dieting.

What is this? What made you decide to add this unrelated information in the end? you were doing quite well till you made this discussion change at the worstpossible point.


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