Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

The differences between Islip town centre now and as it is planned to develop.

Sunny babe 1 / 1  
Dec 30, 2017   #1
My name is Giang, check this this essay for me, I am studying for Ielts exam.

plans in town's development

The maps represents the differences betweek Islip town centre now and as it is planned to develop.
Significant changes can be seen from the maps, there will be commercial, housing and transportation improvements. There will also a dual carriage way to be appeared in future

In the first map, there is a large space spent for houses, which is the central part and the north-end of the town. There is a school located to the West of the town. Next to houses on the left situated a large park. To the north of the park of the park are the shops on both side of the main road, above which is the countryside

In the proposal, a dual carriage way will appear, surrounding all commercial buildings and houses to be constructed. The countryside will disappear to make room for bus station, shopping center, car park and new houses. The main road will become a pedestrian road. The shops to the south of the road will still remain, below which was a park becoming smaller in size to make room for new houses. The school will still exist but be expanded
Asep 2 / 2 1  
Dec 30, 2017   #2
The maps represents

Check: The maps represent or The map represents, not betweek but between, the other looks good
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,591 4458  
Dec 31, 2017   #3
Giang, one of the requirements for the review of the task 1 essay at this forum is that you have to upload the image along with your essay for review. The image will be the basis of our analysis of your written work and whether or not you appropriately represented all of the prompt instructions. Without the image, I cannot make a detailed review of your presentation. I hope you remember to upload the image the next time you post a Task 1 essay for review. For now, I will be giving you a generalized review of your essay.

Based on the 190 word count, you obviously wrote more than enough words to meet the minimum 150 word requirement. However, that is not to say that you will score highly just because you wrote almost 200 words. Rather, the development of your word presentation shows that you need to focus on your sentence structure and development so that you will not miss out on key connecting words that help to create the meaning of your sentence. For example:

Next to houses on the left situated a large park should instead be;

The houses on the left are located near a large park.


A large park is situated on the left of the houses.

Proper descriptions using appropriate connecting words and descriptive words help the reader to create a mental visualization of the area you are describing and thus, helps to accurately move your analysis forward in its presentation.
shan2 2 / 5 1  
Jan 3, 2018   #5
which is inthe central part and in the north-end of the town

On the north side of the park are the shops, which are on the both side of the main road and the countryside above.

Home / Writing Feedback / The differences between Islip town centre now and as it is planned to develop.