Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

'different styles and constructions'; Preserving old historical buildings? TOEFL


essaylearner 1 / 1  
Jul 23, 2011   #1
Should a city try to preserve its old historical buildings or replace them with modern buildings?

Nowadays we are living in one modern and fast developing world. Everyday we face new contemporary issues everywhere around us.
These factors have a big influence to today's architecture and design. Architects, designers and engineers have a different point of view
and different way of thinking in comparison with their colleagues in the past.

Modern buildings are designed with improved f—Énctional capacity. They are much more comfortable and built by more stable materials
than the old historical buildings. For example, in the past people have made bricks from clay and they have used the sunbeams to dry these bricks in order to work with them. Nowadays people use special materials, machines and methods to create more stable bricks. In comparison with the modern buildings, old historical buildings are not safety for people who pass close to them and live in them because of the old construction and wasted materials.

On the other hand,the old historical buildings show us our traditions and the specific architectural history. Also due to these old buildings we could see the improvement of the architecture through the years. However the design of the modern buildings is connected with all contemporary things we use in our daily life. Due to this modern design we can easily see the improvement of today's society.

In conclusion, buildings have different styles and constructions. They show us different periods of our lives. Some of the old buildings are dangerous for people, therefore they should be repaired in time. However the modern buildings help cities to look contemporary and attractive.

ghafarimahsa 15 / 41  
Jul 24, 2011   #2
Mladen,
your essay is so nice, but be careful of the way you write your paragraghs. Do not beark your paragragh soon. Support your sentences with more examples. Moreover, read your topic again, your essay is irrelevant to the topic.

Nowadays, we are living in one modern and fast developing world. Everyday we face new contemporary issues everywhere around us.
Architects, designers and engineers have a different points of view...
functional

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD LUCK
OP essaylearner 1 / 1  
Jul 24, 2011   #3
Thank you! I'm going to rewrite it.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jul 25, 2011   #4
I don't like the first sentence, because it is a statement of the obvious.

2 words: Every day

typo: improved f—Énctional capacity.

Keep the verb tense the same:
On the other hand,the old historical buildings show us our traditions and the specific architectural history. Also due to these old buildings we can see the improvement of the architecture through the years. However the design of the modern buildings is connected with all contemporary things we use in our daily life. Due to this modern design we can easily see the improvement of today's society.

In conclusion, buildings have different styles and constructions. They show us different periods of our lives. Some of the old buildings are dangerous for people, and therefore they s...

I think you should add a sentence to the conclusion paragraph -- a sentence that tells the reason for your opinion: Should a city try to preserve its old historical buildings? You said they SHOULD be repaired, and I think you should also give the reason why.

:-)


Home / Writing Feedback / 'different styles and constructions'; Preserving old historical buildings? TOEFL