Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS: Is direct actions or donation of money more preferable to help someone?



coke 14 / 26  
Apr 9, 2019   #1

THE BEST OPTION TO OFFER HELP



Some people prefer to help or support directly in the local community for people who need it, however, others prefer to give money to the national or international charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sharing and spreading support to unfortunate people is a beautiful act of humans. While some individuals tend to offer their bits of help directly to the in-need, others choose to donate their money to charities. This essay will discuss each preference and give a personal statement at the end.

A sense of fulfillment is the first reason why people want to support the community in person. For example, many volunteers working in nursing homes share that they find it highly rewarded to see the elderly, especially those who are not visited by relatives, enjoy their last years of life circle. The second advantage is that people can offer anything to help besides money. For instance, my classmates used to cook meals in give-away campaigns to feed poor patients during university.

However, time is the main reason that keeps most individuals from offering helps themselves. As much as their desire to support the unfortunate part of society, people have to work nine to five or more to afford their family's needs and to share a smaller portion to the poor. As can be seen, there is no time available to personally spread good actions. Therefore, these people opt to entrust their money with organizations to support the community on their behalf. Take Bill Gates for instance, the chairman of Microsoft has never been free from work. Still, he is able to fight poverty in Africa by contributing ten percent of his substantial asset to international organizations.

Personally, I side with those who favor funding charity foundations. I believe this method will distribute individual donations to larger scales, which means that people's support is not restricted to their own community but other areas as well.

In conclusion, while providing support to the in-need gains people's a sense of accomplishment, it is less time-consuming to donate and let a charity party globally handle individual contributions.

Constance [Contributor] - / 19  
Apr 10, 2019   #2
In paragraph one remove the last two words.... replace the word "bit" to assistance directly to those in need.......This essay discusses each preference giving a.......

In paragraph two ...find it highly rewarding to see.......change the word "besides" to other than.......my classmates cooked meals.......

In paragraph three ....from offering personal help....As much as they desire......to support people needing help in society......to personally volunteer.....place as "s" on asset

In paragraph four Personally, I favor....method allows the distribution of on a larger scale......place a period after community removing the other words.

In the last paragraph ... donate allowing a charity to be a global partner.
OP coke 14 / 26  
Apr 10, 2019   #3
Thank you @Constance for your detailed correction. I really appreciate your help in each paragraph.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: Is direct actions or donation of money more preferable to help someone?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳