IELTS TASK 2 - Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of Playing Sports

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playing sport has many benefits

ESSAY - Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports. At least 250 words.
These days, playing sport has been recognized as a good way to practice the body. However, it still has harm which hard to foresee. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sports activities.

It is true that playing sports will bring many health and physical benefits. The first reason is that it helps us avoid a sedentary lifestyle. When having physical activities, the circulation system will be increased much more than normal, thus it makes the heart become stronger. As a result, it can reduce the risk of cardiovascular diseases. Another cause that supporting this development is the weight management issue. By doing exercise or joining sport for burning the excess calories in the body, so it may make a nice body figure through losing weight.

However, practicing sport is still remarkable harms in many aspects. According to research, one of the prominent sport problems is the injury which usually has when people play sport. Moreover, it might be worse if a body part has been long-term damage, thus it will have difficulty in handling daily tasks such as take a shower or clearing personal. Besides, some sports have required financial ability from players. For example, tennis and golf which not only required playing places but also need expensive things to support these activities such as coaching, equipment, or club fee.

In conclusion, besides, it can not deny that playing sport has many benefits for the body but it also has several harms which can not mention.

1. ... in the body, so it may make ...

i think you need to remove the bold word. and the sentence should be better be "By doing exercises, excessive body calories will be burned and creates an ideal body shape as body weight is decreasing".

2. in paragraph 3, are you sure that there is a research that stated the data? did you really read it? if yes. then that's ok. but if you don't really know where and who conduct the research, it is better to not include it (unless you mention whose research is that, and who conducted it).

1, ... harm which is hard to foresee.
2, "In conclusion, besides, it can ..."

I would suggest another way around: "In conclusion, it can not be denied the benefits playing sport can bring out for the body. Still, potential harm is existed, causing us to always be cautious."

Whoops ! You have to write a minimum of 250 words. You wrote only 249 words. That means the essay will automatically be scored less, just because you missed out on one word. There will still be a highly minimal percentage deduction for that in the task 2 essay. Make sure you write around 20 lines every time. That number of lines will normally allow you to meet the word count on an exact or more word count basis.

Your prompt paraphrase is not really accurate. You changed the discussion point from advantage v disadvantage to "a good way to practice the body" along with "harm which is hard to foresee". These are both inaccurate representations of the original presentation which should have been:

There are both benefits and drawbacks to athletic engagement. Some of the advantages include... While the disadvantages could be...

You have to completely change the original prompt, never use any words from the original to avoid mark downs for memorized or cut and paste words. Outline the discussion points to help you meet the 3-5 sentence requirement per paragraph. Your paraphrase and conclusion are too short. You need to write at least 40 words in those sections. The concluding paragraph needs to be presented in a summary wrap up format.

Thanks for your valuable contribution and I really appreciate it. I will pay attention and be careful to avoid making these mistakes again.