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IELTS Task 2: Discuss both view: Economic is the most important goal



ngocnhivn 1 / -  
Jun 1, 2021   #1

What kind of progress is the most crucial for a country?



Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Although advancing the economy is considered to be the top priority for a country by many governments, some people reckon that progress in other areas is as vital as in the economy alone. Both of these opinions have their merits; however, I am on the side of developing other areas such as welfare services.

It is undeniable that having a huge national budget is the key to rule every aspect of a country, and that is the common reason for nations to invest most of their money in progressing the economy. For instance, either building infrastructure and housing for citizens or buying weapons to protect the nation need money. In fact, these areas account for a huge proportion of the budget. Thus, economic progress is arguably the only way to secure the standards of living of the people.

However, a big economy is not the main factor to determine the quality of life of the people, but the welfare services are. For example, in a survey about which is the happiest country in the world, Bhutan ranks first. Surprisingly, Bhutan is neither a big economy nor a country with a long history, but it has good social security. Most citizens are well educated, and there is no war or unrest in this country. To me, keeping people in their happiest state increases their productivity, and they can develop the economy afterward with great stability.

In conclusion, despite the preference for the economic progress of many governments, I believe that developing social security is equally important for a country, especially in the long term.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Jun 2, 2021   #2
Both of these opinions have their merits; however, I am on the side of developing other areas such as welfare services.

I love this part of your presentation. You successfully indicated 2 important elements in this presentation:

- The comparative discussion reference
- Your opinion + thesis statement

Such a strong task response indicates:

- Good English comprehension skills
- strong restatement skills
- A clearly supported opinion / thesis statement

These are the positive points that will earn you a high preliminary TA score, all but assuring you of at least, a passing score. Now, let's talk about your response formatting error that pulled back your ability to score higher.

I wish that you had used the clearer 3 paragraph format for your response. Why the 3 paragraph response ? Review the discussion requirement. Discuss both views ( 1 paragraph each) and give your own opinion (1 paragraph) . Consider the following based on your statement that :

Both of these opinions have their merits

Use one paragraph each to support the merit of each. Help the reader understand where the public reasons are right. Those reasons are inferred in the original prompt. further increase your TA score by doing this. Prove heightened C+c abilities on your part by connecting the 3 discussions. Make sure you save your strongest explanation for your opinion since it must stand alone.

You did an acceptable job here but, in my opinion, it could have been better presented and scored.


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