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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Discuss both views for high salaries



ptt513 1 / -  
Sep 29, 2024   #1
In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


In recent years, it is widely acknowledged that there has been a small number of residents getting high incomes in many parts of the world. While some people believe that this situation has positive effects on the country, others state that salaries should not be higher than a certain level set by local authorities. In my opinion, I support the former due to many reasons which will be outlined below.
On the one hand, it is understandable why some people claim that imposing a limit on income should be done. The primary reason for this statement is the insurance for the equality in society, which leads to reducing stress related to competitively geting higher income opportunities for people in some countries and allow them to have more time for taking part in more activities except for working and studying and having new friends. For example, in Vietnam, there are numerous of teenager usually are under peer pressure and force them just concentrating on working and earn more money, which leads to they cannot concern more about being in relationship and getting married. This problem may have a negative influence on the country because the bird rate can decline, leading to the quantity of labor in the future could also decrease. However, some people who try hard to do their jobs feel dissatisfied because other people who have easier jobs have the same salary as them.
On the other hand, from my perspective, I believe that the existence of people who are paid higher incomes is good for their own country. To begin with, it can promote competition among employees and they become working harder because earning more money not only helps citizens to meet end needs but also is regarded as a symbol of status. Consequently, the productivities of companies could increase. Furthermore, there are a variety of occupations deserving of extremely high salaries. This is because some of them require people who are geniuses, have a talent for specific majors, or face danger. For example, doctors in some countries must spend more time and money on studying than the other and sometimes they treat many patients who have dangerous pandemics. Therefore, if the government did not offer high salaries for this type of job, rarely would people be willing to choose it and dedicate to protecting people against disease.
In conclusion, although having the restriction for salary contributes to equality and reduces stress for people, I still believe that it helps to make employees more competitive to have motivation to work harder, which benefits the development of businesses. In addition, there are some jobs which should be paid high salaries to attract better people.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Sep 30, 2024   #2
The essay will receive a failing score because it does not follow the require response format for the compare and contrast writing instruction. The first problem will be that your thesis statement is incomplete. While you refer to which side you support, you do not summarize why you support that point of view. You need to establish the reasons why you also support the given opinion otherwise the restatement is incomplete.

Using the comparison format per reasoning paragraph means that you have to present a pro and con discussion or a pro and pro discussion, depending upon whether you support or do not support the point of view. You cannot discuss this based on your personal opinion alone. You have to discuss the public reasons first, which should be different from your personal opinion. Based upon this current presentation, you are using only the personal point of view, which resulted in an incomplete discussion presentation. There always have to be 2 sides, the public and the personal opinion in the discussion presentation.
halinhislearning 3 / 4  
Oct 2, 2024   #3
@ptt513
Hi, I think you should change the phrase "numerous of teenager usually are under peer pressure" into "numberous teenagers often face peer presure" and "leads to they cannot concern more about being in relationship and getting married" into "prevent them from focusing on relationship and getting married".


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