Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Discussion about advantages and disadvantages of GREEN ENERGY.



thangitcbg 1 / 1  
Dec 15, 2021   #1
Question:
Nowadays most green energy is becoming ever more prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.



My essay:
In this day and age, there are many competing arguments about the effects of increasingly using renewable energy over the world. Some people claim that the trend is detrimental to the security of supplying energy on a global scale, while I believe that its advantages are more significant for both citizens and the environment.

On the one hand, there are several reasons to support the idea that environmentally friendly energy is less reliable for the energy demand of people. The main reason is that many green energy technologies depend on changeable and unpredictable phenomena such as wind, rain and cloud cover. Solar energy, for instance, depends on the frequency of sunlight at where the panels are placed, therefore, a few days of cloudy could result in a blackout if our main energy source is solar power. Otherwise, there would be not sufficient area for installing a field of solar panels or wind turbine farms in order to ensure energy for all activities of citizens in a region, resulting in a lower limit of power generated compared to other kinds of energy.

On the other hand, in my opinion, the benefits of renewable energy could offset the drawbacks above. Firstly, the sources of green energy, including sunlight, wind, water and so forth, are infinite. Using those kinds of energy could save a large sum of looking out for new sources of fossil fuel. Secondly, alternative energy also generates almost no harmful chemical wastes and emissions, such as carbon dioxide, in the production processes. Therefore, reducing environmental pollution as well as improving human health in the long run.

In conclusion, although green energy is a threat to energy security, I believe that this type of energy could greatly mitigate the costs and is much better for our environment. (296 words)

/Thanks in advance!/

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15470  
Dec 15, 2021   #2
Okay, if you want to use the 2 reasoning paragraph option for this discussion then you need to use the correct written debate format for it. That means, you first discuss the public opinion, giving the supporting reasons for it, then, in the same paragraph, explain why you agree or disagree with the option. You cannot use one paragraph for one general discussion then move on to your personal opinion.

Given the general discussion presentation in this essay, you appear to be delivering your personal opinion rather than an analysis of the public reason. That is because of the lack of proper point of view referencing based on the "Some people" and "others" discussion references from the original prompt. This is an invalid discussion format that does not clearly address the prompt discussion instruction.

A clear comparison discussion must be presented for both reasons representing the strength and weakness of each public opinion, with your personal opinion addressing what you think of each public consideration in each paragraph. That will indicate that you truly analyzed the points for discussion based on public and personal perceptions.

This essay is only partially correct in presentation format. It offers a general and personal discussion that may or may not be scored highly by the examiner based on the task accuracy requirements.
Wingw 2 / 2  
Dec 17, 2021   #3
Yes, thats the features of the green energy, but how they threat the energry security. In other words, whats the consequence of it? I think is better to put those as your main ideas instead of their features.

Hope it helps you!
OP thangitcbg 1 / 1  
Dec 18, 2021   #4
@Wingw
Thank you! I noted your comment!
But can you give me some examples for the consequences of green energy, I still have no idea :"(


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Discussion about advantages and disadvantages of GREEN ENERGY.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳