Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Doctors and inventors should collaborate in many aspects to bring community better life and future


Linda91 30 / 40 3  
Feb 1, 2016   #1
Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Society need great people to bring them to the better life. Some people think that inventors have big role in community, but some others believe that doctors have bigger role in community. I think that both of them have same role, doctors are as substantial as inventors that are interconnected.

An invention is needed to bring community in forward life, so that their life can change into better life. For example, the invention of cutting-edge household appliances, such as Samsung smart home, it makes the life of society is easier than before because the tools like television and air conditioning can be controlled just in one device or wearable technology such as watches. As a results, people's life in a home become more convenient and saving their time. Thus, they can do other activity. There is no wonder that inventors are very significant in a large of group of people.

In addition, health aspects also have a huge role in community that involves doctors as they keep the health of society. For instance, the number of disease in some areas tend to increase every year, and an infected person is also increasing. Sometimes it usually spreads to their neighbor that raise people who are infected the disease. The presence of doctors in community becomes very important. The more many doctors do practice in society, the more people have easy access to the health. Hence, it can be seen from example that doctors have a big impact in community.

The aforementioned evidence shows that inventors are as important as doctors in society. Therefore, it can be better if doctors and inventors collaborate to bring community in better life and future in many aspects such as health and convenient life.
pikul 23 / 26 3  
Feb 1, 2016   #2
Some people think that inventors have bigKEY role in community but some othersWHILE THE OPPOSITES ARGUEbelieve that doctors have bigger role in community.

I think that both of them have same roleARE NECESSARY FOR PEOPLE , doctors are as substantial as inventors that are interconnected.

An invention is needed to bring community in forward life, so that their life can change into better life.MANY INVENTIONS AFFECTS PEOPLE LIVES BY MAKING IT MUCH EASIER
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Feb 1, 2016   #3
Linda, your discussion started off quite well. I specially like the part of your opening statement where you claimed that "I think that both of them have same role, doctors are as substantial as inventors that are interconnected." so I was expecting to read about this interconnection in the essay. However, you did not really present a discussion that connected the two fields.

You spoke of inventors as people who make out life easy. Doctor's make healthcare easy. The only connection between the two is the word "easy". You did not really manage to portray the interconnection that you claimed the two professions have in your essay. So this weakened your discussion.

In order to strengthen the line of reasoning that you presented, you need to think of ways that inventors and doctors are similar and in the process, present the presumed connection between the two which makes life easier for everyone. Think outside the box in this instance. The connection between the two has to do with the technology involved in healthcare. Look for the discussion connection in that field.
sir99 7 / 8 2  
Feb 1, 2016   #4
...Some people think that inventors have biga significant role in community, (...) that doctors have biggermore significant role in community.

... become more convenient and saving their time here has to be replaced by adjective. Thus, they can do ...

... and an infected person is also increasingalso rises .


Home / Writing Feedback / Doctors and inventors should collaborate in many aspects to bring community better life and future
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳