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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Essay about doing an enjoyable activity with a child and reading books



eddypham 1 / -  
Jul 24, 2024   #1
Task 2: Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain answer.

In today's modern society, it is believed that enhacing overall skills development and creatitivty by experiencing some enjoyable activities than just reading books. In my essay, I partly agree with this trend because of some remarkable benefits that two views have.

On the one hand, having an enjoyable activity can be an opportunity for children to promote themselves in well-rounded way. This is because, they can show off their skills or thoughts in some competitions such as art, dance or acting. Not only children accquire more knowledge about their enjoyable fields but also improve their creativity and development skills by some feedbacks about children's perfomances when they engage in competitive activities. Moreover, in these acitivites, they also can make friends with others, develop about their emotions, ruling feeling of inconfident and lonely out of children.

On the other hand, children also expand their knowledge and promote their creativity about several fields by reading books. Books are brought children a lot of informations and images about kinds of fields which they cannot have chance to experience like astronomy or archaeology. For example, by reading books that there are many childrens in rural areas can access to social knowledge instead of wasting amount of time and money to have chance to do in the city. Therefore, they also be creative with their knowledge from varieties of books.

To conclude, I partly agree with two kind of views because their some undeniable advantages particulartly in terms of accquire more knowledge and improve development and creativity skills.

Please give me score in 4 criteria and feedback about grammar, content, word form and a sample writing of this topic
Thanks a lot

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Jul 28, 2024   #2
The topic restatement is faulty. You forgot to reference that the activities are to be done with a child. That alone will result in a failing score already for the TA section of the essay. The subject of the activity was missing. You only provided the verb in the prompt restatement. So the reader will not have a clear idea as to who or what is being referenced in the topic.

Your grammar is very faulty in the sentence presentations. There is a problem with your basic sentence structuring that needs to be addressed. Problems with gerunds exist and proper verb usage is also something you have to brush up on. The GRA score for this essay is not going to help you pass the test.

As for the conclusion, it does not follow the correct reverse paraphrase format so no, it will not receive a passing score either. The overall essay will be a failing one.


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