slam to all.. I am preparing the Ielts test. So please check my essay care fully and give suggestion.. what is weak in this essay?
Topic: some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than complete become more useful adults.
Answer:
No-doubt, children learn much more both sense of competition and co-operation.These things create a encourage to adults. But i personally believe that children learn more co-operation each other rather than competition. So some people differ my point of view. They prefer to competition in children grooming. I am discussing the both sense of it.
First of all, some people argue that sense of competition in children should be encouraged. They can groom their mind. Particular in education, it is so important for adults. For example, children more learn to see each other. If in game, we see that create competition between the children. they hard work more to counter others. In education field, children got reward to take position in class.Teachers appreciate them and parents are satisfy their children. While children those do not got position. they face criticism through parents and teachers. This things promote competition.
While the others argue that co-operation in children should be encouraged. Through co-operation,they can develop and strength their relation. they can gain much knowledge. Co-operation have important role in every fields. For example, if boy is weak in one subject, then he takes help to his friend who has grip to subject. later on this boy may help another subject which has grip itself. so co-operation create opportunity each other.
In the conclusion, there is a positive opinion on my side that co-operation in adults should be encouraged in every fields. they will learn much by it then competition. Further, it is expected that competition will act as a supplement to co-operation in some fields.
Topic: some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than complete become more useful adults.
Answer:
No-doubt, children learn much more both sense of competition and co-operation.These things create a encourage to adults. But i personally believe that children learn more co-operation each other rather than competition. So some people differ my point of view. They prefer to competition in children grooming. I am discussing the both sense of it.
First of all, some people argue that sense of competition in children should be encouraged. They can groom their mind. Particular in education, it is so important for adults. For example, children more learn to see each other. If in game, we see that create competition between the children. they hard work more to counter others. In education field, children got reward to take position in class.Teachers appreciate them and parents are satisfy their children. While children those do not got position. they face criticism through parents and teachers. This things promote competition.
While the others argue that co-operation in children should be encouraged. Through co-operation,they can develop and strength their relation. they can gain much knowledge. Co-operation have important role in every fields. For example, if boy is weak in one subject, then he takes help to his friend who has grip to subject. later on this boy may help another subject which has grip itself. so co-operation create opportunity each other.
In the conclusion, there is a positive opinion on my side that co-operation in adults should be encouraged in every fields. they will learn much by it then competition. Further, it is expected that competition will act as a supplement to co-operation in some fields.
