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Economic progress importance - Cambridge IELTS 11. Task2.

Sohn 1 / 1 1  
Aug 29, 2017   #1
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

country development and economic progress

There are many kinds of the politics that government has to progress. Some of the people claim that the most important politic is economic progress. However, others think that other types of progress are also significant, therefore, it has to develop equally. Even though I believe that the economic development is the most important, arguments on both sides are worth exploring.

It is undeniable that the economic progress is extremely important to the government. We cannot maintain our life without the money. The money enables to keep the most basic substance of the life. Such as the house, meals, clothes. Moreover, we can have leisure time that we have the enough finance to keep the minimum vitality.

In addition, the economic development is the power of the country. There is the representative indicator that shows the level of the economy, it is called by GDP which is the feature about the average of the peoples' income in each country. This is the first feature to recognize the power of countries, these days.

On the other hand, the economic progress is not the solely part that government have to develop the most. The purpose of developing economy is that helps people can have a better circumstance. To achieve that purpose, it ensures to develop the economic progress as well as other parts of progress equally. For instance, protecting the environment, inventing new technologies, extending the public welfare. However, if the government makes its project possible, it needs an appropriate budget.

To conclude, I believe that economic progress is the most significant purpose that government has to achieve. Other types of progress are also important, However, it needs the decent budget to develop.

Thank you for reading my essay. It will be great that you leave the comment about my essay.
Also, I wonder how much score that I can get from this essay.


Holt [Contributor] - / 8,796 2609  
Aug 30, 2017   #2
The overall score for your essay will be within the range of 5. The reason that I scored your essay this way is simple. You were asked to discuss both sides of the issue and then present your own opinion. While you declared in your opening statement that both sides of the issue will be discussed before you delivered a discussion of your personal opinion, that is not the way the essay was presented. I read the essay a few times in order to confirm my suspicion that the essay was more of a totally personal opinion of both sides of the issue instead of a discussion of both sides and then a presentation of your personal opinion in an expanded paragraph. That is why I scored the essay on the lower score range. You need to also make sure that when you are asked for an opinion, you present an opinion and not a belief. There is a difference between the two. A belief is "trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something." or "an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.". An opinion, on the other hand, is "a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge." Based on the two definitions, you can see how your discussion is not aligned with the prompt requirements and had to be scored accordingly.
OP Sohn 1 / 1 1  
Sep 4, 2017   #3
thank you so much

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