[IELTS] SHOULD ALL EDUCATION BE FREE TO ALL PEOPLE AND PAID AND MANAGED BY GOVERNMENT?

TOPIC:
All education (primary, secondary and further education) should be free to all people and paid and managed by the government.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, whether all individuals should be entitled to unchargeable education has been receiving a great deal of public attention. While I partly agree that training should be sponsored by the government, I disagree it should be costless for everyone.

Free education is reasonable for several reasons. First, everyone has equal rights to education. This means both the wealthy and the poor are entitled to learning, which makes those who are impoverished have the chance to be lifted out of poverty and get better career opportunities and future. If not, only children from privileged backgrounds can access to education and be better prepared for their future, and juveniles from poor background learn that all attempts, effort they make are useless, and they could not positively change their lives, which perpetuates a cycle of the wealth gap and postpone the country's development and prosperity.

In the other hand, I believe that education should not be free to everybody. This is because most people do not appreciate the value of free training. To be more precise, the number of pupils would be irresponsible to their studies and lose motivation to strive, which leads to low academic results and a waste of investment of government in those students, and a financial strain. Besides, the government only should sponsor for gifted individuals such as Mathematical ingenious students, which helps them fulfil their dreams, and their capabilities would boost national advancement in numerous fields such as science and economy down the road.

In conclusion, although free education is advantageous in a great deal of aspects, it should not be uncharged to all individuals.

You are not discussing an extent essay. Therefore, you cannot be party in agreement and mostly in disagreement with the given discussion topic. This is a single point of view essay. Based on that requirement, your response, in its current form will be scored low because of the unclear opinion that you are presenting in the response section of the prompt restatement. You have to use the two discussion paragraphs to defend your opinion.

You may use the first person point of view in this discussion since you are being asked to explain your opinion to help keep the examiner informed that you are presenting your personal point of view/opinion throughout the discussion paragraphs. You need to beef up your conclusion. It is too short. You need to write at least 40 words in that section. Using a restatement of the topic and reasoning subjects can help you better conclude the essay. While your presentation indicates your personal opinion, it is not complete enough to be considered a proper concluding summary / summary paragraph.

Hi, I found some mistakes in your essay, be more careful!
- In On the other hand
- free to for everybody.
- the number of pupils... I think you should use a/ huge/enormous instead of the.
- only should-> should only sponsor for gifted individuals
- fulfil -> fulfill
Hope my suggestions useful!

Hi, there is something to improve about your sentence structure:
- Your sentences are too long and sometimes make me confused. For example, " If not, only children from privileged backgrounds can access to education and be better prepared for their future, and juveniles from poor background learn that all attempts, effort they make are useless, and they could not positively change their lives, which perpetuates a cycle of the wealth gap and postpones the country's development and prosperity." I know what you meant, but you did not clarify your idea and you repeated the word "and" too many times. How about splitting it into 2 sentences, like this: "If not, only children from privileged backgrounds could have access to education and be better prepared for their future while their poorer counterparts could not. This will eventually perpetuates a cycle of the wealth gap and postpones the country's development and prosperity."

- You should give some more supporting ideas to your paragraphs.
- There are some sentences that I think not completely true. For example: "This is because most people do not ...". I don't think so, the word "some people" might be more suitable than "most people".

Hope this helps