Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS writing: Is education priviledged for youth, or lifelong task?



extrafresh 13 / 31  
Jul 20, 2011   #1
Writing Topic

Education is sometime considered as something for the youth. Some People however, consider as life long task. What is your opinion? Give reason and support your ideas with specific support

There is no doubt that people must receive education at school during the youthhood. Yet it is undeniable that we have agreed with some educator's viewpoint of learning is an endless business throughout life. The topics presented above is not a paradox. Just as an old saying in my home country-to live and to learn'.

First of all, there is reason why misleading about the of education is minor people's work attributed to the weakness of compulsory educational system. Its function usually covers 2 or 3 school years from elementary (age 6) to middle school (age 14). After the completion of this stage, some of young people have to leave school instead of going to work at the farm or factory due to lack of financial support from their parents. Only a few could possibly continues to stay at school more longer for pursuing their Ph.D degree. Don't get me wrong here. It is not special case in some rural areas, because of their parents thought their child has already been to school and their responsibility for education has been fullfiled.

However, what to be taught from elementary shool to college is to enrich our mind with basic knowledge and foundmental concept but not capability of understanding the whole world around us. To tackle the actual problem whatever we will encounter in real life, we learnt from the textbook at school does not help at all. There is still a long way for us if we want to go further and if we want to get the deep insight of the full landscape.

Morever, more adult people than ever before choose to go back to shool, is not accidental phenomenon. It is found out that adult people are more inclined to participate in continual education mainly for job opportunity and personal interests. Research supports the view. Introduction of the concept of sustainable development apears to lead to an indirect effect--high-quality manpower resources are in a huge demand. For those of people who are always well-prepared, even in the harsh and competitive job market, opportunity will never fail to grasp them. It is hardly to believe that one who has brilliant learning background would not be a something eve-catching for a recruiter. While, to others people, an ability to master a kind of new knowledge and skills such as e-marketing is competely personal interest.

Apparently, it should be mentioned that adult students would prefer tailor-made class and being flexible is critical issue. For example, on-job training class can equip people with practical operation skills that much easier to fit in the requirement of daily job. The process of learning will help coming up with new idea to examine the quality of the work timely. Besides that, full-time MBA educational program would be considered as a option for people who wants to refine oneself during their business life, for example leadership, communication skill and financial management, and even their income.

ekekek 25 / 50  
Jul 20, 2011   #2
Paul~~Hello~

Honestly speaking, I feel a little bit confused after I read your essay~ Each para. seems logical, but when you put them together, it seems a "mess"~~Please forgive me use the word "mess"~~

You choose a neutral point of view, but it seems that you need to make contrast if you want to strenghten your argument~

By the way, I fairly appreciatie your details of thinking~ ^0^
the leaf ninja 9 / 26  
Jul 21, 2011   #3
Hi Paul, this is a good essay, your ideas are great but I have some thoughts I would like to share:

We found out the best way for learning suitable for oursleves (ourselves) would be a benefit from it. (I dont really get what you mean here)

However, these basic things we gained at school is are good for enriching our mind but still far away from developing a capability of understanding the whole world around us.

To tackle the actual problem whatever we would encounter in real life, what we learnt from the textbook at school does not help at all. In the face of tough situations and difficuilties difficulties, we will get lost and confusted (confused).

Some of them expects to understand accounting management and others may join cookery classes .

To tell you the truth, I dont agree with the way you write your conclusion, because it's supposed to summarise all you have discussed. That is what I mean. I'm sorry if it's not true.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS writing: Is education priviledged for youth, or lifelong task?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳