IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - A GENERAL EDUCATION VERSUS VOCATIONAL EDUCATION - merits and demerits

which system is more appropriate?

n some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a wide range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. For today's world, which system is appropriate?

There is no denying the paramount importance of education on society. In light of this, there are various curriculums in order to maximize the effects of the learning process. In some nations, students can access various subjects at secondary schools. Meanwhile, others prefer vocational education that orient students to a career in the future. While the latter system is not without certain drawbacks, I am convinced that it is generally more suitable for both students and society as well.

Admitted that advantages of a general education are evidenced. The key benefit is that children can be exposed to distinct majors, and hence they can choose the most appropriate major for themselves based on their interest and abilities after experiencing all subjects. Simultaneously, diversity of knowledge may pave the way for adolescents to have a complete development in the future since they are equipped with sufficient information in all fields. However, the aforementioned advantages pale into significance when compared to glaring drawbacks. Firstly, this system may spell trouble for students because of a hectic learning schedule before exams of numerous subjects that make students exhausted. This is compounded by the problem that children have to acquire so much knowledge that they are prone to put up with stress because of being overloaded no matter how much information they can apply to the practice in the future.

Meanwhile, it is justifiable for some to not extol the vocational system. The main rationale is that this curriculum may limit the abilities and skills of students in a particular specialization. Nevertheless, this thinking is flawed since this system brings many glamour benefits. Children can attain essential knowledge and skill sets related to their future jobs from an early age. This development is a boon to their career opportunities because they may be versed in their field after a long time of focused training without being distracted by other subjects. In addition to this, the less irrelevant subjects children study, the more time they have for their major subjects; therefore, they can harmonize theoretical and practical education to have a bulk of job experience in the future. Not only students but organizations are also positively affected by this education system. A narrow range of subjects related to a certain major may help juveniles become a seasoned professional after graduating. As a result, enterprises can save a colossal amount of money on training new employees in terms of major knowledge and skills.

In conclusion, although each system has its own merits and demerits, I strongly deem that the vocational system should be adopted in lieu of a general education for the sake of students as well as companies.

The discussion format is the main reasons why this essay may avoid a passing score. Based on the task requirement, the discussion is to focus solely on one type of educational system. The 2 reasons involved must be angled towards the applicability of the learning style to today's world. While the writer chose a particular academic style for the opinion presentation, there was a failure to properly defend, via applicable discussion points, the writers point of view.

For some reason, the writer opted to use a comparative discussion presentation. Effectively saying that both styles have strong suits even as attention is called to drawbacks. The whole point of the essay was simply to justify why her educational style choice in most applicable to today's world. Rather than having 2 supporting paragraphs, there is only 1. So the discussion has 2 Task lowering errors:

- Incorrect response presentation
- Under developed reasoning discussion

The discussion pointh presented are clear and logical for the intentions of the writer. The problem, is that only 1 out of 2 paragraphs addresses the discussion requirement.