In modern era, advance technology especially in communication form has given worst impacts for individual relationship with other people. I disagree with this notion owing to the fact that electronic media make accessibly to communicate with other people.
First of all, several people think that electronic media, like mobile phone, make people just focus on their media and ignore other people surrounding them. Certainly focus or not on some persons in their life hood do not caused by electronic media. It is just depend on their willingness and how to make convenience condition when communicate with other people. For example my experience; I have communication media, mobile phone, and most of my friends have too, but we still have good relationships not only in media but also in real live. When we meet, we just focus on our conversation. It has happened owing to the fact that we know when we should use this media or not. So, electronic media especially communication form do not destroy our relationship.
On the other hand, electronic media particularly mobile phone make accessibly to communicate with other people in world wide. For example, I want to contact my lecturer in Surabaya while my position in Banyuwangi, so using mobile phone to sand massage or WattsApp make me to do not visit Surabaya. So, using communication tools, like hand phone, make we closer with our colleague or keep our relationship.
In conclusion, electronic media no not make bad relationship with other people. However, it make other people closer each other than before.
Your text could use being refined stylistically so that it sounds better:
advancecommunication technology [...] appears to have a negative effect on people's ability to pursue interpersonal relationships.
I disagree with this
notionassumption [...] because technology helps people to stay in close touch with each other. severalsome people...electronic mediadevices... [...] cause individuals to stay preocupied with using these gadgets for sending each other messages. Certainly focus [...]However, it is not because of technology that some people tend to ignore their close friends and relatives.
not only in
mediavirtual reality, but... It has happened [...] The reason for this is that we do not allow our electronic gadgets to control us.
accessiblyit easier to... sand [...] send... make me to do not visit Surabaya [...] spare me from the nessesity to visit Surabaya.
I hope this will help. Regards.