You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose?

Question:

You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

My Answer:

Business world is so complicated that no one can understand it completely. It has so many difficulties and sometimes it is a trap that leads you to bankruptcy. However its pros are always more than its cons. A good business can make you rich.

First of all, starting a business is risky. You risk your money by putting it in a business that you will not know that if it is going to be profitable or not, but if your risk has a good result and the business you've chosen is profitable, so you will earn more money. Although it is good to invest your money on a business, but the risk of your money will be a little discouraging you from doing so. That's why insurance companies are here to help you. These companies insure your money that if you lose your money, they will give it back to you, so you are not going to lose anything.

Second, a profitable business can help you buy a house or anything you need. The important thing here is to choose a profitable business that leads you to earn more money. That's way you can be surer that you have both a house and a business that is helping you live a better life.

Third, you may not have a job and having a job is more important than having a house. Because when you have a job you can earn money and pay for a rental house but the opposite is not possible most of the time. That's why establishing your own business helps you be your boss.

As a matter of fact a good business worth more than a good house because it supports you for the rest of your life and it also supports your next generation. For example companies like Hershey Chocolates are passed generation to generation and they still exist because they revolutionized human life by introducing a new product that everyone liked it at that time. Even now people believe that chocolate companies are so successful because almost all the people like chocolates. This is a good example of a profitable business that can last so long and your next generation can help it grow more and can help them have a better life from the time they are born.

in this sentence, " or not " should be deleted


The meaning of this sentence is confusing,should be revised to be " the risk of losing money would discourage someone from doing so.

hope this is helpful

this is well written. Only issue is it does not introduce your prompt to the reader. No where it talks about the two options that you are given to choose. For this task, you need to align your writing well with the prompt. In that sense you need to give more focus to what your prompt suggests.


You write very well and certainly can go for a very good score. Pay attention to the desired structure for this task. That you would find in many other threads, especially in dumi's comments :)