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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university...



sophiemoore62 4 / 10  
Feb 22, 2024   #1
Task 2: Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. Why? Effects on society? (Jan, 2023)

It is observed that the number of students choosing science subjects in universities doesn't reach the desired amount in many nations these days. In this essay, I will explain the potential reasons behind this occurrence and its effects on the society.

There are several reasons why students tend to turn away from scientific subjects. First, with the growth of the economy around the world and globalization becoming more important, economic studies may have attracted more college students than science since they can see the potential in the subject. Moreover, science subjects may be viewed as less important because basic science knowledge that everyone needs to know to apply them in real life has already been taught in high school. Second, if science in university is high-level science, the students will only study it if they want to become a scientists. But, since not many scientists can create remarkable findings or make large contributions, their lives seem to be struggling, which demotivates people to follow that path.

As a consequence, there will be fewer scientists in the future to do research and invent scientific developments. The possibility of improving the lives of the people is lowered, so any societal problems will remain unsolved. Another effect is the creation of new medicine for unhealed diseases is slower or if worse, there will not be any chance there would be one. Therefore, the health of the citizens will be not improved despite possible worsening pollution and diseases.

In conclusion, the cause of the decline in science subject registration is the students' lack of interest in it and this may lead to societal problems being unresolved and citizen's health not improving.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Feb 25, 2024   #2
doesn't reach the desired amount in many nation

This is a prompt point of view alteration that does not follow the intention of the original prompt. This change has affected the accuracy of the paraphrasing. It is not an accurate paraphrase and will receive a failing score. The lack of a clear writer's opinion presentation and summary is also a major problem as the preliminary score for that section, which is based on the first paragraph, will be 0 since it was not accurately addressed.

The causes and effects are only mentioned but not explained. That paragraph will be scored based on an under developed presentation section. The correct response would have used 2 related causes, explained within 5 sentences in the section. An under developed paragraph will not push your essay towards a passing score.
OP sophiemoore62 4 / 10  
Feb 29, 2024   #3
@Holt
Thank you for your feedback! I understand.


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