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Entertainment and sport or healthcare and education



thanhhoang12a7 1 / -  
Jun 4, 2017   #1
Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. Others argue that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

investing in art, sport, medical care or education



People have different views about where areas the authority should invest in. While there are some benefits of allocating money for healthcare and education, I would argue that it is better for the government to pour much money into building theatres and sports stadiums.

On one hand, medical care and education are beneficial to some extent. Firstly, since the number of diseases is increasing rapidly, the government should invest money in healthcare. For example, wealthy nations provide financial support to medicine companies to research and create a new vaccine which can prevent the outbreak of Ebola. This helps improve living standards of its people. Secondly, because the government is responsible for taking care of its citizens, they should offer high-quality education to all individuals. For instance, higher education should be either free or affordable for all those who chose to pursue a university degree. This may greatly contribute to improving the quality of workforce.

On the other hand, I believe that erecting theatres and sports facilities is a better choice option. First, threatres can provide much social, cultural and historical knowledge for people. In Vietnam, for example, artists often perform plays that render the battles of our ancestors fighting against foreign invaders over the past 4000 years. This helps young generations to cultivate patriotism and national pride. Additionally, providing sports facilities such as tennis courts and football stadiums may to encourage more people to take up sports and have a healthy lifestyle. As a result, people can improve their health and build up resistance to disease.

In conclusion, while investing money in medical care and education has some advantages, I believe that theatres and sports stadiums play a much more important role.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jun 4, 2017   #2
@thanhhoang12a7 your opening statement should represent the two points of view prior to the presentation of your opinion. That is because the prompt asks you to discussed the two points of view and then your opinion. So the outline of the discussion should be represented in the manner that the discussion requires. That said, your paragraph discussion it's rendered incomplete because you failed to present a public opinion regarding the importance of buildings and stadiums. The public opinion is important to present before your personal opinion because your opinion should support and enhance the readily available public information which will then allow you to present a stronger, if not winning opinion on the subject matter.

I would like to go back to your incomplete opening statement and call your attention to the concluding part of your essay. . Notice how you only have 2 sentences there? That means the paragraph development is incomplete so you will recieved marked down points because of that error. Each time you fail to present at least 3 sentences in a paragraph you will lower your chances for a higher final score.


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