equal numbers of male and female students in every subject
Should universities accept equal numbers of men and women learners in every field has always been a controversial issue throughout the century. To my point of view, I strongly assert that if colleges can set a balance between 2 genders in specific subject, the merits will definitely outweighs the demerits.
To begin with, 21 century has given prominence to the equality among male and female, therefore, by having the same amount of gender enrolling to university, it can, one way or another support to this ideology. Moreover, it can be easily seen that, there has been an unbalance in the ratio of men and women in plethora of works. This might be the result of the discrepancy of sex in different area at school. The disadvantages of the divergence has shown greatly when a student go apply for a job. For example, in technology field, the number of male has outweigh the number of female, hence there will be a high chance that girls will be turn down due to the engrained perspective that boys are better at coding and programming ( the unbalance number is a clear evidence for this case).
On the other hand, it is undoubtedly that each gender has its own advantages,therefore, there are some subjects that will not suitable for others.For instance, sports such as weight lifting or soccer will require player to have good health and mental in order to go under pressure and hard training program, consequently, most of female are not meet up with the requirements, so it will be right for university to accept more men than women in sport subject.
In conclusion, I contend that college should have equal number of both gender in each area since it will not only create a balance of opportunity in each field but also favour the ideology of equality between male and female.
... learners in every field have always been ...
... 2 genders in a specific subject...
..., the number of males has outweighed the number of females, hence ... will be turned down due to ... (... is a clear evidence...).
... will require a player to ..., most of the female is not meet up with ...
@vilender
Hi there!
First and foremost, ensure that the formatting of your words would all be academically appropriate. This includes making sure that the structure of your sentences are conventionally correct. If you can incorporate fundamental techniques into your writing, it would be better for the overall flow of your essay. That being said, I have noticed that this is a commonplace mistake. If you feel as though you can divide a sentence into two different parts, opt to do that rather than sticking with a non-conventional, run-on sentence.
Moreover, try to also evade being repetitive with your essay. When you're creating a general outline to follow, it would be beneficial if you can follow either an inductive or deductive pattern in creating logical patterns to build your essay's overall substance.
With these things in mind, I would suggest the following revisions for a small portion of your essay.
To begin with, The 21st century ... equality among male and female of genders., therefore, b By having the same amount proportion of gender enrolling to university, it can, ... ideology it will support this ideation. Moreover, it can be easily seen observed that, there has been an unimbalance in ... in plethora of works various fields of work. This might be is the result ... of sexes in different area at school in education. ... the divergence has are shown greatly when a student go apply applies for a jobs. For example, in the technology field, the number of males has outweighs the number of females, - hence, there will be a high chance that girls will be turned down due to the engrained ingrained perspective perception that boys ... and programming ( the unbalance ... case) because of stereotypical evidences.
Notice the changes I've made. Best of luck as always in your writing!