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IELTS: men/women 'oriented' studies - equal numbers of male and female students


cherrymonster 1 / -  
Jan 2, 2014   #1
It is my first time taking the IELTS next week.
I'm having difficult time in writing. please help!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the last decades, there has been considerable debates over the proportion of males and females in universities. Some claim that it is right to give same opportunities in studying to all people no matter of genders.However, others assert that we should consider the every job's own traits and it is necessary to adjust the different number of people to each gender.

Personally, fundamentally I agree with the latter assertion. Still, we can't deny the fact that every people has their own freedom to study whatever they want and they have equal opportunities to do it. However, there are chances that students who lose their interest in subjects that traditionally are men/women oriented studies might emerge. It is little awkward to say men/women 'oriented' studies, still there do exist such subjects in my nation like nursing and math and science based studies. I heard about boys who dropped out of nursing courses since he couldn't get used to them.

To sum up, unicersities should consider whether the subjects and jobs related to this society are women or men preferred and they have to apply that to numbers of each gender of every courses. I think it is significant to

avoid any students who drop out of that one-gender preferred subjects.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jan 4, 2014   #2
I think you need to restructure your essay by following Dumi's suggestion:
Introduction: hook+ background of your topic + State your opinion/ position
Body para 1; First reason for your opinion/ position + Specific example to support that reason
Body para 2 ; Second reason + example
Conclusion ; Final statement about your position.
Also, you should include the full prompt of your essay!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jan 4, 2014   #3
MisterWandering has suggested you a good structure for the essay. According to that structure, for your intro, you need to have a hook (an opening sentence that is catchy and relevant). Also, you need to conclude the introduction by stating your opinion. If those two features are present then this intro is a very good one :)

Also, you should have at least two body paragraphs to justify your opinion. It doesn't matter if you have more number of body paragraphs (if the time permits) but not less than two. Have a look at the following essays to get an idea of this structure.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jan 5, 2014   #4
Yes, raj is absolutely right! .... word count is very important for you to go for a good band. Follow that structure and you'll easily meet this requirement.

Personally, fundamentally I agree with the latter assertion.

.... As per the structure, this line should have been the last sentence of your introduction.

. Still, we can't deny the fact thateverypeople has their own freedom to study whatever they want and they have equal opportunities to do it.

This is the reason why you hold that opinion. So start the body paragraph with this reason. I find some grammar errors in this sentence.Pay attention to your grammar too;

all people have - "people" is a plural word , the you need to replace the words "every" and "has" with "all" and "have". Or else you can say like this;

every man has


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