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Equal Parents Responsibility to raise their children


bisho 2 / 3  
Jun 2, 2015   #1
It is very common in the most of the families that the mother duty is to raise the children including the housework, and for the father his duty is to support the family financially. leaving most of the work for the mother. there are some people agree with this statement. personally I disagree with this statement for various reasons.

First of all, it is not fair for the mother to do all of this work alone especially raising her children. moreover, the mother is less strong compared to the father. she may find some difficult by doing all of this work by herself. she cooks, cleans, washes and raise her kids alone, that seems a lot for her. Also, all of this responsibilities drive her to lose her attention for her husband and sometimes her kids. which will lead her husband to act carelessly. and she might have no time for herself. Furthermore, the children will not be raised well with just one parent. they need both partners to be much responsible and well-behaved. because what they learn from their mother is totally different from what they learn from their father.

The opponents of equal parents responsibility that the father is too busy with his job to support the family with money. a lot of people thinks that supporting the family financially is more important than being present for the family, which is wrong the father presentness is very important for his wife and his children. not to mention, that the father should be aware of his kids emotions needs. every child needs to feel that his father is being him some attention. ignoring the child is an awful thing. equally important, that most of the children show more discipline for their father than their mother. It is very normal that the father is most fearful than the mother. It helps the mother when the children get stubborn.

To conclude, both parents should share equal responsibility in raising their children. because is not fair for the mother to do it alone. and, the father is much able to help the mother. Also, children need their father to be raised well. in brief, happy family always share equal responsibilities.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Jun 2, 2015   #2
- It is very common in the most of the families that the mother duty is to raise the children including the housework, and for the father hisfather's duty is to support the family financially.

- leavingLeaving ( always capitalize your first letter at the start of the sentence) most of the work for the mother.

- She may find some difficultdifficultybyin doing all of this work by herself.

- They need both partners to be as much responsible and well-behaved, because what they learn from their mother is totally different from what they learn from their father.

- ....which is wrong the father presentnesspresence is very important for his wife and his children, not to mention, that the father should be aware of his kids emotionsemotional needs.

- every child needs to feel that his father is beingpaying him some attention.

- To concludeIn conclusion , both parents should share equal responsibility in raising their children. because is not fair for the mother to do it alone. and, the father is much able to help the mother.

- Also, children need their father to be raised well. in brief, Happy family always share equal responsibilities.

Bisho, I have made a few corrections on your essay, I hope it helps.
Also, please mind the following;

- punctuation marks, for you to break your sentences, you need a comma (,) and not period (.)

- when you start your sentence, use a capital letter in your first word

- proof read

- sentence construction, you need to put your ideas on a very thorough manner in order for your message to get across

Keep writing

Cheers!!!


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