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Parents' responsibility in children caring_ Argumentative essay

Van_Anh_Meo 1 / 1  
May 4, 2019   #1

child care skills

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is undeniable that childcare is a vitally important skill for most parents and that raising children is by no means a simple task. Nevertheless, I disagree with the idea that all parents should be forced to attend parenting courses for several reasons.

On the one hand, I admit that childcare courses work miracles for parenthood preparation. Without a doubt, essential knowledge gained through parenting lessons such as children's possible medical issues or how their mood swing operates during puberty could result in remarkable improvements in children upbringing. For instance, the basic medical treatments learnt through childcare lessons might allow parents to give their child first aid in case of emergency.

On the other hand, I believe that making parenting education obligatory for all mothers and fathers is certainly impractical. The number of new parents each year is undoubtedly high and uncontrollable, which makes full scale childcare courses impossible. Furthermore, intensive training courses for parents run by professors might be prohibitively expensive; therefore, parents with low income are unable to afford them. As well as being impractical, training courses for parents are also unnecessary due to the availability of other approachable sources and methods. Obviously, childcare skills and knowledge could be learnt from senior family members, friends and neighbours. Perhaps more importantly, parenting skills are also acquired naturally by maternal and paternal instinct, trial and error.

To conclude, I would like to reaffirm that compulsory parenting courses for all parents are not only impractical but also pointless.

puppy1111 3 / 4 3  
May 4, 2019   #2
Because of this, all ... it would be better if "all mothers and fathers" change to another word maybe "prarents"

... childcare courses work ... "work miracle" doesn't seem suit for the meaning of this context. Maybe
Maria - / 1,099 389  
May 4, 2019   #3
The transition between your sentences could be bettered if you structured your sentences in a more organized way. Watch out for consistency in your tenses also as this can affect the technicalities of your essay.

For instance, in your introductory sentence, I would opt to say:

Childcare in an undeniably vital skill for parenthood as raising a child is not a simple task. [...]

Notice how I had omitted the word important because vital is already synonymous as this. Removing words such as this can help you maximize the word count in your essay.

Try to avoid being repetitive with your words. If you can can, opt to minimize using the same phrases over and over again. Try revising and looking into alternative methods of writing down your lines to accomplish this.

For instance, in your second paragraph, I would write it down as:

[...] Without a doubt, essential knowledge gained through lessons on medical assistance for puberty-driven mood swings can result to improvements in childcare upbringing. [...]

Notice how I had trimmed down the sentence while still maintaining its core meaning. Doing this can help your essay become more concise.

The last sentence in the third paragraph can also be revised into:

More importantly, parenting skills are acquired naturally due to maternal and paternal instincts partnered with trial and errors.

Best of luck.
OP Van_Anh_Meo 1 / 1  
May 6, 2019   #4
Thank you so much for giving constructive feedback. I will try my utmost :) :) :)

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