Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Establishing Library Waste Much Money Since People Can Use Internet



Anna94 47 / 50  
Nov 20, 2016   #1
Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that building libraries will spend money in futile way. Because everyone has home Internet, it can be used to find information. I strongly disagree since I think that libraries and Internet have different function in obtaining information. Firstly, some information does not publish public on the Internet and then much Internet information is anonymous.

Many textbooks now are archived on the Internet in which can be accessed by all people either to be free or to be paid. However, some of them is totally published only as textbook or has time to be posted online. So that people who need that book, have to find it on the bookstore. Based on the article of New York Time Magazine that two books in agriculture field have published in textbook forms and the publisher informed that those books were not available in digital form. Therefore, people only can read them manually without any Internet access.

Besides, allocating money to establish libraries will bring benefits since people can access exact information on the books. As many people know that, some information on the internet is provided anonymously. For instance, a student found support information for his essay on Internet. It was good; unfortunately, it did not insert the author of the information. So, it cannot be a source to cite. However, when he found on the books, it would be very clear.

To draw a conclusion, I firmly disagree that library building just waste much money since certain information can only find in a book. Moreover, the information from books has an exact writer in which it is different when people cite from the internet. 274w

akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Nov 20, 2016   #2
Hi Anna..
These are a few corrections to improve your essay.


information. Firstly, some information does not ...

Actually, you successfully create the introduction well, even you display what you will explain in the body paragraph. However, you can make your thesis statement shorter.

INFORMATION BECAUSE THE INTERNET STILL PROVIDES THE VAGUE DATA.

Besides, allocating money to

Apart from that, ......

For instance, a student found [...] the author of the information

Actually, those can support your opinion to show your disagreement. However, you did not construct your sentences systematically so that you appeared the bad flow. You are supposed to reread your sentences to make you sure that readers can get the points in your essay.

To draw a conclusion

I know you wanna create unfamiliar intro sentence in the conclusion paragraph. However, you should be careful because not all can be used in the essay or formal writing. You should harness usual sentences (in conclusion, to conclude, or to sum up)

Overall, you successfully answer the question well.


Home / Writing Feedback / Establishing Library Waste Much Money Since People Can Use Internet
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳